h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One last, last word. I trust you have all attempted the third press of the 'Post message' button that gives the dialogue bo "please do not pres this button again". It's hidden extras like that that make this site so worthwhile

No Admittance
Not Even To Authorised Personnel
You are wasting your time here
Go away

I keep on finding quotes that have their value IRL:

"It's ... well, it's a long story," he said, "but the question I would like to know is the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe ans Everything. All we know about it is that the answer is Forty-two, which is a little aggravating."

Prak nodded again.

"Forty-two," he said, "yes, that's right."

(my apologies that i don't go about quoting the entire thing, but)
The conversation between Ford and Mr. Prosser about Mr. Prosser filling in for Arthur as he lies in the mud in front of the bulldozers (of course, the best part of that was finding out that it was between Arthur
and Mr. Prosser in the radio series)

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes"--Ford

"A towel is about the most massively useful thihng an interstellar hitchhiker can have..."--the Guide
(a useful bit of information for any gamer)

"Don't try to outweird me...I get stranger things than you with my breakfast cereal."--Zaphod to the pink winged insect at the reception desk of the GUIDE office.

I completely lost it at the point the radio version started talking about biroid life forms....

I have agree with 'Who will that inconvenience?'. In fact I've used that many times. Try it. It really is the only way to win an argument but be prepared to use the next line 'Never mind who it will inconvenience you box of blacklegging binary bits. It'll hurt, buster, it'll hurt!' just incase someone used it on you. Can't fail.

Oh by the way...Great Green Arklesizure if you want to correct spelling.

A couple of comments about teleportation from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (don't know if they were in the radio series):

Arthur decided that matter transference beams as a form of transport were as much fun as, say, a good solid kick in the head.

[...]

I teleported home one night
With Ron and Sid and Meg.
Ron stole Meggie's heart away
And I got Sidney's leg.

(Ford)
Arthur, this rock we're stuck under. How big would you say it was?

(Arthur)
Oh I don't know, about the size of Coventry Cathedral.

"Do you think we could move it? Just an idea"

And better still, "Why would a rock hummm"

"Holy Zarquon Singing Fish"

as Ford is failing to rescue Zaphod from falling out of The Cave

"I could really BE in this cave"
"You are in this cave"

"oh . . . Belguim, Ford, Belgium"

I hope the moderators will allow such blatent use of the word Belgium

Zaphod: They want to arrest me over the phone? Yeah I'm really dangerous when cornered...
Ford: Yeah, you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel...

[from memory, so please excuse inaccuracy...]

Favourite Quotes.... hm...

Zaphod : We could really.... 'BE' in this cave...
Ford : We ARE in this cave....

Hig Hurtenflurst. ...
Ford: Revoked?
Hig: Yah - K I L L E D - Revoked.

Hig: I only happen to be....etc.


The lifts who don't want to go up...

Having to keep a receipt every time you go to the lav on Kakrafoon(?)...

Oh - SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM!!

However - my fave bits on my decaying radio broadcast tapes are the straight-laced announcers from Radio 4 after the closing credits:-

"Parents of young life forms should be aware that towels can be dangerous if swallowed in large quantities.."

"Zaphod Beeblebrox is currently appearing in 'No sex please - We're amoeboid Zingatularians' at the Brantisvogan Roundhouse"

"It was a time when men were REAL men, women were REAL women, and small furry creatures from alpha centurai were REAL small furry creatures from alpha centurai."

I'm so amazingly hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis

and, something along the lines of...

you go to pieces so fast that people get hit by the shrapnel

From the game:

> inventory
You have:
a splitting headache
no tea

--from memory--

Beeblebrox, over here!
--Roosta

No, Beeblebrox over here. Who are you?
--Zaphod

A friend

Anyone's friend in particular, or just well-disposed to people in general?

From the TV series:

Ford - "Keep the change"

Barman - "What from a fiver, sir? Ooo thank you very much"

Ford - "You've got 12 minutes left to spend it." (might not be 12!?)

Six pint's of bitter? Fiver? Thank you very much?

Also I love the bit where the barman says "Do you really think the world's gonna end this afternoon". Ford says yes so the barman calls last orders. Expression on the guy's face is classic!

HEY!HOW ARE YOU METAL MAN?
FINE IF YOU HAPPEN TO LIKE BEING ME WHICH PERSONALLY I DON'T!!