h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The best scene of all time has to be the lobby scene in the Christmas Episode.

Zarniwoop, Get Me Zrniwoop

A grea scene, I can quote it from 'Zarniwoop...Get me Zarniwoop' right up to 'What a depressingly stupid machine.' It's not my favourite but it is great.

Get him right! Get him NOW!

Back sir. He's in his office

That cats on an intergalactic cruise.. in his office
Listen three eyes, dont you try to outwierd me, I get weirder things than youn in my
breakfast cereal.

Well if you'll just be cool a minute.
I'm so cool you could keepa side of meat in me for a month.I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis.

Well, who do you think you are honey, Zaphod Beeblebrox or something

Count the heads!

"Come again Sir,"
"Oh photon!"
"You are Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
"Yeah, but don't shout or they'll all want one"
"THE Zaphod Beeblebrox"
"No just A Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs"

"But Sir, I just heard on the Sub-Etha net radio report. It said you were dead..."
"yeah. That's right. I just haven't stopped moving yet. Now. Where do I find Zarniwoop?"

That scene to me *defines* Zaphod Beeblebrox! He is the most Zaphodish in that scene more than any other.

"Well sir, his office is on the fifth floor, but..."
"But he's on an intergalactic cruise, yeah yeah, how do I get to him?"
"The newly installed Sirius Cybernetic elevators are in the far corner sir."
"Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. Oh Zarquon, haven't they collapsed yet?"
"Sir, can I ask why you want to see Zarniwoop?"
"Yeah, I told myself I needed to."
"Come again sir?"
"I came to myself in a dream and said 'Go see Zarniwoop'. Never heard of the cat before, but I seamed very insistent."
"Mr. Beeblebrox sir, you're so weird you should be in pictures."
"Yeah, baby, and you should be in real life."

*applauds*

Another Zaphod classic has to be talking to the waiter in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe...

"You guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off"

"Our whats Sir? The Phone Sir."

I fully agree. Hip hip hooray For all things DNA!!!!

"Oh Yes you will" "There's a whole new life streatching out before you"
"Oh no not another one"
"Will you shut up and listen" "This time there is going to be excitment
and adventure and really wild things"

"Sounds awful."
"Marvin! All I'm trying to say..."
"I suppose you want me to open this spaceship for you..."
"Marvin, just listen will you?...What?"
"I suppose you want me to open this spaceship for you?"
"Er - yeah."
"Well I wish you'd just tell me rather than trying to engage my enthusiasm because I haven't got one."
"Hey, how'd you do that Marvin?"
"Didn't I tell you, I've got a brain the size of a planet? No one ever listens to me of course."
"Oh shut up Marvin."
"See what I mean?"
"Hey Zaphod, look at this. Look at the interior of this ship."
"Hey. Wierd."
"It's black. Everything in it is just totaly black."

"what is the slipperiest thing you can think of?"
"this minute? this rock."
"this rock is as slippery as this rock."

"Beeblebrox over here"
"No Beeblebrox over here" "Who are you"
"Oh yeah" "Anyone's friend inparticular or just generally well
disposed to people"
"Do you know your buildings been bombed?"
"Its your government out to get you Zaphod" "They've sent a
squadron of Frogstar Fighters"
"Frogstar Fighters" "Zarquon!" "What are Frogstar Fighters

Shhhhzzzznnnnnkkk
"Zarquon, was that a Frogstar fighter"
"No that was a Frogstar scout robot out looking for you"

* Reads backlog *