h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That is true, although that is dictated by the whole structure, so isn't really thematic.

[1]

Eh???

[9]

Do you not understand me? How Dare You!!? Guards!!!

[13]

*looks around swiftly*
HA! They haven't seen me! Now explain yourself man! Please?

[25]

Must I? I've got a lecture starting about 3 minutes ago so I'm leaving but how about I just ignore your question instead?

Your turn

[7]

Clears throat...

"I DID IT MYYYYYYYYYYYY WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

[18]

Did you really, how interesting, and could you please explain exactly what you mean by that, please sir?

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[Oh, Ok I'll let you off - 23]

I was looking forward to trying nine hundred and twenty three words. I was going to put my language and culture essay on.

[4]

That was my turn!

[923]

ASSIGNMENT 1

Hand-in: Monday 29th October 2001, Learning resource centre

Length: about 1,400 words

This is not a complete answer to the questions, merely a first draft of some aspects, as an attempt to write 923 words in an h2g2 Word Count entry. The answer is not as thorough, or as good, or as well-planned as my LAC 171 essay will be. I hope. I mean, for a start we’re supposed to write 1400 words for the essay, and I can only write 923 here, minus the question, title, and all this b***ocks

The Question Is:

In the light of what you know abot linguistics and the nature of language, comment critically upon the views expressed in the following statements:

1. “My cat understands every word I say”
2. “I always speak the same way to everybody”
3. “If you learn a foreign language, you can’t in the process avoid learning the culture of those who speak it”
4. “A message for you. I don’t know who he was, but he didn’t have an accent.”

1. In tackling the question of whether a cat can understand everything a human says to it, first we have to explore the basic fundamentals of human language. The main advantage that all forms of human language have over communication between animals (like cats, for example) is our lexical and syntactical range. A cat, or similar creature, cannot communicate things in tenses, so cannot refer to past or future events.
Cats undoubtedly have communicative competence- what sound like mere Miaows to us probably have a very wide range of meanings to the cats.
However, their language bears absolutely no resemblence to any human languages, as humans cannot tell any one miaow from another. It is incredibly unlikely that a cat could understand human language, as if they could, the relationship would most likely be reciprocal, with humans understanding cat language.
Human language functions and patterns are incredibly complex, and even humans have to go through several distinct stages in their language acquisition, such as acquiring grammar, syntax, lexis. This can be difficult for humans learning a second language, or even between diifferent dialects within a language. To suggest that a cat would be able to make it’s way through the mental maze of the human language structure (which varies, as I say, from language to language and even within a language.)
If an English speaker from London cannot understand what a speaker of the same language from Glasgow is saying, or if an American cannot understand some australian lexical items, it is quite frankly insulting to the human race to suggest that a cat, which doesn’t even have the vocal capacity to speak our languages, would be able to understand what any of the four people I use as examples say.
The possibility of a cat being able to understand what a human is saying is so remote as to not even be worth mentioning.

(Nearly 500 words gone, I’m over halfway!)

4. “He didn’t have an accent” is a rather ignorant comment to make. The only people who don’t have accents are those who cannot speak. When it is said that a person does not have an accent, it is normally a way of suggesting that this person has a Received Pronunciation (RP) accent.

{Note for h2g2 users who have not studied linguistics in any kind of depth: you’re lucky. You might also want to know that Received Pronunciation is seen as the prestige accent of British English, and was in fact the accent widely spoken in the triangle of Cambridge-Oxford-London which was the centre of linguistic studies in the United Kingdom in the 19th Century. It is also known as BBC English, or the Queen’s English, especially when used to speak the dominant dialect of British English (known as standard english). It is taught to a lot of private school students and is not widely recognised as an accent by the general public}

The reason that some people don’t recognise RP as an accent is (675 words now) is the fact that it has become seen as the default accent, so that an “accent” is defined by many people as the local deviation from this norm.
This view of other accents as deviant, and of dialects other than standard english as inferior, leads to a lot of stereotyping (Liverpool, Newcastle, Birmingham, and most irish accents are examples of accents with perceived negative connotations). (180 words to go)
There is also the problem that dialects with syntactical, graammatical and even lexical differences from standard english (which is, in itself better described as the dominant dialect of british english, as standard is an odd term to describe a dialect with as many inconsistencies as any other) are perceived as inferior and deficient, shockingly even by the national cuuriculum despite continuous feedback from teachers and linguists that children should be taught to be proud of their accent and their dialect. To tell children that their accent and dialect are wrong is to divide families and cimmunities and should be avoided at all costs

This is not my complete essay (I’ve only addressed two of the points so far, but it is 923 words (if you count all these commentary bits, so I have fulfilled my promise of entering my language and culture essay as a 923 word post to the word count page. Please don’t think that this draft is the best I can do, it’s not. I’ve just improvised it on Word while sitting in the university library.

[12]

Hmm, we seem to have a problem with punctuation pasting.

Oh well.

[12]

Hmm, we seem to have a problem with punctuation pasting.

Oh well.

[12]

Hmm, we seem to have a problem with punctuation pasting.

Oh well.

[12]

Hmm, we seem to have a problem with punctuation pasting.

Oh well.

[12]

That could be the biggest forum message that I've read on h2g2.

[8]

I've seen larger messages, but not more frivolous...

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I'm glad you're all impressed by my posting. Why do you think language and culture is frivolous, smartgamer? It seems very serious and boring to me but then I'm stu...

[17]

I don't know. It just seemed a tad out of place in this forum. I'm really sorry.

[4]

That's alright.

I think.

[13]

Thirteen words? Dangerous, especially by the Keeper of That Which Breaks Down Easily...

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