h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I definitely must join this esteemed campaign. Being a man who is forced to get up at 4:30am on sodit, wimpy, wibble, thing, poets, AND doobry, I sympathise with the whole soditness of this world. Joining you people must be my destiny, rather than overthrowing the emperor with my Sith lord dad. I petition all you geezers with my whatnots, and oojamaflips, and thingybobs. Go on, let us in. I have nothing better to do than catch up on some sleep.

What you need to do PS, is mozy, in your most anti-thing manner, over to the No,No,No forum and stick out your hand. Clive, our esteemed warlord will be over in a jiffy (his uniform of warlordliness is away being cleaned) to bang his gabble and pronounce you all things Thing.

You'll need to think up a suitable title - something snappy and revolutionary-esque - pop a snook at the roster and you can see what we've already got ...

Once you've done that, you'll need to head over to the Uniforms page, care of The Gook (aka Sir Loin of Beef) for your regulation spork and whatever else R & D can dredge up - I recommend the Nachos.

For the mean time, strike a pose, twiddle with all your might and feast on and ...

*executes salute with aplomb*

*The Warlord s of feeling a little peaky

*leaves an open -ended gabble thump for PS*

*bangs gabble*

the guys'll show you what to do. but welcome aboard by the way!

You've banged the gabble ... but what is he? Hmmm?

open-ended, open-ended. it's triggered when PS chooses a title!

::: anxiously awaits PS's choice ... hands hovering over the keyboard ... just waiting to update the roster ... :::

I was thinking something along the lines of Worrying tormentor of pigeons, seagulls and other assorted bird life? I don't think you've got one yet have you? Very important and more efficient than the old scarecrows. I feel so priveliged to have this opportunity to rename the whole week. Although, I may point out that the old-fashioned Poets day does not, alas, apply to me any longer.

No Poets ... we'll have a whip round PS ...

You could whip round and tell my boss to stop making me work Doobry mornings, that'd be great! I could sleep tomorrow morning, and go out on the beers tonight!

Don't worry, I've thought of a solution ...

Tell your boss that you're quite willing to work satdays but seeing as you are a Thingite and tomorrow is Doobry it doesn't count ...

If that doesn't work I can't help I'm afraid ...

Although you could plead insanity - sometimes works ... best thing would be to start now though - nothing major - close scrutiny of your palms for the onslaught of hair, arguing with your alterego works quite well, especially if you start beating yourself up ... trust me, I'm a dogtu...

Dude, I constantly argue with both my alterego and my dog. My boss knows this and doesn't care. Well, I say doesn't care, but seeing as my actual boss is HRH Queen Elizabeth II I don't actually get to see her that often. In fact, she's never even had me in for a cosy chat. terrible really. I may try the whole refusing to admit that satday exists.

So do I get to upset birdlife or no? The whole suspense thing is really nasty, bad for my heart, all this stress.

sorry.

Plastic Squirrel:Worrier of pigeons.

Hereby proclaim-ed!

Please go and claim your Regulation Titanium Spork from the Uniforms thread on Sir Loin's page then come back here and torment the wild-fowl.

Been for my spork, gonna use it to eat spam, and then chuck it like a boomerang at those pesky damn birds.

Alright, so it looks nowt like a spork, but there is no which seems a shame.

You know ... we've gotten the smiley ... we've gotten Thing on the front page ... I think it's about time to start petitioning for a smiley ... Hmmm ...?

Yeah, and some other handy cutlery like and and a and a despite it's being a golfclub.