h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Relaxes on rubble, rubbing arm where sore from injection, head where sore from probe insurtion, and throat sore from sitting in "A and E" for 7 hours, with sod all to drink and nothing to smoke.
Finds conveniant mound of rubble, dreams of warm beach..
(OJ)
(Doc say no alco, but I bet they tell EOne that)

Eeeek!

Hoversnail! Me old mucker! How ya doin? I was wondering where you had got to.....

YeS!
And, what is worse, depending on results of scan, and extracted fluid (blood and CSF), they want to put my head under the knife again, probably next week. I thought they didn't want to poke around in my head after the last of my six opperations over 7 years ago; maybe there is something interesting in there they won't tell me about?

(Sits down looking depressed, in dressing gown, says "sod it" and reaches for)
(Ale)..
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! Let's pray for the best!

[YK] [sits down on a bit of rubble] So ... is anything going on, in particular?

We're mostly sitting around drinking in this particular forum ...

Hi, I'm Shea, I don't believe we've met ... can I offer you a ?

Eh, well, ahhh, umm, I kind of got so used to stuff going on in my head, medically speaking, that seemed independant from me, that I just kind of brush over it pretty much, I mean, I was still jokeing whilst slowly going under influence of anasetic when I had opperation for brain hemaredge, so I guess, it at least kind of puts things in perspective. You know, flu doesn't seem so bad when you have had a constant headache for 12 months, and spent majority of that time flat on back. Although this time, its kind of worse, cause I've been fine for years, and at least I haven't attempted to practise any more football-headering skills on passing articulated lorrys, which started off the whole damm thing.
So, (happy, smiley), to get away from what is hopefully going not to be another opperation, I do what I always find best;
(Ale)
(slurp)
drinking enough also gets rid of headache (at least until morning!)
(more ale)

?

not that I'm one of the aformentioned virile young men, (you duz ne wanna see me in the nud woman! ) but I was proferring sympathy....?

[YK] Yeah, sure, whatever. Should I bother asking for anything non-alcoholic, or should I just go zootlewurdle?

We have...um...?

(what's a zootlewurdle? )

I think I'm gonnacall in a few JCBs and turn this place into a proper beach...
(pulls out a blueprint and a copy of the Yellow Pages)

[YK drinks the ]


"Zootlewurdle" is a reference to the original radio show of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Marvin, after falling fifteen miles, hits the ground so hard that he goes down another mile. He then considers his options and decides to just sit there, saying "Zootlewurdle" over and over again. He eventually leaves on the grounds that he was beginning to like it too much.

(fleet of diggers arrive, tipping sand onto the ruins while others redivert water to form a beach)

*scoots out of the way of the diggers*

...At one end of the beach, Alan Titchmarsh builds a sky-blue boathouse...

And charly dimmek makes a water feacher

(and in no time at all...)

"A fully functioning beach!"

They forgot the Bar...now where am I suposed to get my booze from