h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why wait?
Do it today!
And why would anyone collect lamp posts?

It causes traffic chaos at night.

and the gopher

Somethings got to cut the cables!

Guitar thug blew into town
His eyes like wheels spinnin' round
Jerkin-off at every sound
Layin' all his crosses down
O yeah
He got Six Strings
The Six Strings that drew blood

The bar is full of Holy-Joes
A Holy-hole-a-whole-aria
Around the neck of our consumptive rose
is the root of all his sorrows
O yeah
He got Six Strings
Six Strings that drew blood
A Holy-hole-a-whole-aria
Six Strings that drew blood

In the bathroom under cover
He turns on one tap to discover
He's smashed his teeth out on the other
Well he look in the mirror and say
don't f*ck me brother
Cause I got Six Strings
Six Strings that drew blood

Numbin' the runt of reputation they call rat fame
Top-E as a tourniquet
A low tune whistles across his grave
Forever the master and the slave of his Six Strings
A Holy-hole-a-whole-aria
Six Strings that drew blood.

nice

Gun wears his alcoholism well
Finger in Bottle and swingin' it still
From Bed to Sink and back again
Clock is crawlin' round the same
He's bustin' Clock (he hates its face)
Just sittin' and talkin' to Heart and ticks
Talkin' back to Clock in slow and studied kicks
The fears of Gun are the fears of everyone.

Fingers down the throat of love
Fingers down the throat of love
Fingers down the throat of love
Love! Love!

Gun does the waltz around the room
Collecting Table and Chairs and Sofa and so on and so on
Gun wears his best blue suit, now let's take to the sky
'We'll go dancin' and eatin' it up
Get a bottle and push it on down'
And let's just beat it up
Transistor radio plays an overwhelmingly sad and lonely song
Saying 'Where she gone? Where she gone?'
The fears of Gun are the fears of everyone.

Fingers down the throat of love
Fingers down the throat of love
Fingers down the throat of love
Love! Love!

such a happy ditty

I stuck a six inch gold blade inside the head of a girl
she: lying through her teeth
him: lying on his back
hands of this one,hands off she cried
grinning at me from hip to hip
hands off, pretty baby, tough blood then so soft to slip
ooohh yeah
I stuck a six inch gold blade in the head of a girl
sharks fun slices suger-bed slices that pretty red-head
I love you! now me! I love you!
laughter, laughter
oh baby, those skinny girls, they're so quick to murder
ooohhh yeah.
Shake it baby, c'mon, shake, shake it baby

tales of true love are so uplifting

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
She stared at my eyes and smiled
For her lips were the colour of roses
That grew down the river all bloody and wild.

When I knocked on her door, and entered the room,
Her trembling subsided in my sure embrace.
I would be her first man, and with a careful hand
I wiped at the tears that ran down her face.

On the first day I brought her a flower,
She's more beautiful than any woman I've seen
I said "do you know where the wild roses grow
So sweet and scarlet and free?"

On the second day I came with a single red rose
I said "give me your loss and your sorrow"
And she nodded her head, as she lay on the bed
"If I show you the roses will you folllow?".

On the third day I took her to the river
I showed her the roses, and we kissed.
And the last thing she heard was a muttered word
As I knelt above her with a rock in my fist.

On the last day I took her where wild roses grow
She lay on the bank, the wind light as a sheet
And I kissed her goodbye, said "all beauty must die"
And I knelt down and planted a rose between her teeth.

They called her the Wild Rose
But her name was Eliza Day
Why they called her that I do not know.
For her name was Eliza Day.

I love a happy ending

There is no reason to life! Your entire existance is pointless.

true, but it is fun

Why are we now posting song lyrics?

We're trying to depress HappyDude.

Why?

Because his extreme optimism can get annoying.