h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Varnish your chimney
If you want to avoid those
Big nasty spiders

NT: windoze, Linux and FreeBSD

A Free B S D?
Linux on the floor. Watch it
Fly out the windoze

Next: Twigs, spiders, and falcons

Majestic falcon
perched on twig on branch in tree
swoops down, eats spider

Spare ribs, football(not soccer, real american football), the Spanish Armada

Gridiron must be
The least appropriately
Named "football" ever!!!!!!!!!

(Aussie Rules is much more appropriately named, but still doesn't use the feet much. But now that that's out of my system...)

Spanish Armada
Played gridiron just the once
Ribs left on the field.

Next topics: Battle of the codes (ie which "football" is best), armadillos and the Spanish Inquisition

Battle of the Codes
Armadillo Armada
Questions, anyone?

Next: Rain, Intestines, and Remembering your American friends' mailling addresses.

rain@intestines?
Can't be it either, it has
to end with ".com"!

So why not just add the ".com"? Because that would throw off the whole rhythm of the haiku, that's why!

Next: riding a motorcycle, karate and zen.

Karate master
Tim, owns a motorcycle
to which he says "Omm"

Next: Flamboyance, Flattery, and Flatulence.

'Frilly purple cloak
Suits you sir' declared the fool,
breaking wind loudly.

Next: Oak trees, playing the didgeridoo badly, the 'face' on Mars

Under the oak tree,
playing the aussi pipe, He
plants a mantian face

Next: God, Gasoline, and Fudge.

God and gasoline...
Fudge it, I can't think of a
haiku about that!

NT: clouds, whispers and wind

clouds and wind-chimes blow
whispers in the wind tell me
'go, there will be snow'

hear the clank, cow bells
in the autumn apple trees
waiting for the snow

Next: Ferns, Frogs, and Vacuume Cleaners.

The fern hides the frog
under leaves of verdant green
my hoover reveals

next topics: spiderwebs, moonlight, and drums

Spiderwebs are harps,
and mushrooms are drums in this
magical moonlight.

NT: Earth, Mother Nature and ecology

Earth, Mother Nature and Ecology

Silently falling
Root hits Mum, (bed before supper)
thwarts evolution.

Earth, Mother Nature and Ecology

Silently falling
Root hits Mum, (bed before supper)
thwarts evolution.


Next subject: Wellies, Washing machines and Tulips...

x x Fenny

Wellies on Washer
Wins Turner Prize, they adore
girls use of tulips!

Next: Cracking Knuckles, Popping hips and Peru

Arthritics practice
irritating joint habits
on the Inca trail.

Next: brandy, Dyson vacuum cleaners, quantum mechanics

"Brandy," the Doctor
said, "is good for theory work,
as is a clean room.

Next: Owls, Bowels, and Bowls

What a disgusting
putrefying horrid mess
bowl of owl bowel soup

NT: Ninjas, lemons(faulty cars, not citrus fruits), Mad cow disease