h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

pod 3 - ur haiku only had 4 syllables in last line?

where is everyone?
that question has no answer
I ponder alone

next: on new shampoo

New shampoo is of
little use to a man who
has too little hair.

Next topic: balancing a chair
on the tip of your nose

< should've put in an extra 'tap' Roo, guess I just lost the will to count back there>

A performing seal
once held a chinese futon
on its nasal point

nt: learning to count syllables properly

what are syllables
how can i count them and is
this enough for now?

Next topic: Nothing.

Nothing cannot be,
because, when written about,
becomes a something.

nt...hairless dogs

Hairless dogs lack hair
because they won't eat candied
yams, the perfect food.

Next topic: The perfect food

Perfect food yams aren't.
It's known to all, perfect food
must be chocolatey.

nt...green lightbulbs

green lightbulbs are the
perfect food for a six-toed
mubblybat from hell

nt: boiled cabbage

All over the world,
the houses of old ladies,
smell of boiled cabbage.

next: handbags

Sun give me some warmth
Please give me a golden tan
but not skin cancer

Next topic: Scotland

dammit, posted in the wrong bit! D'oh! Please forgive me, I'll do a handbag one!

I don't like handbags
I prefer a nice rucksack
to put treasures in

nt: still Scotland

The place where both the
Highlands and lowlands stand as
Caledonian

nt: Ireland.

Shamrocks, St. Patty
is all of Ireland I know.
such a pity.

nt: The States

I wanted to write
A handbag Haiku because
I've nineteen handbags!

I know little of
The States. Only my father
Has ever been there

Handbags:

All around the world,
The food of old bachelors
tastes tough as handbags.


The states:

State of grace, state of
confusion, state of mind, and
War between the states.



Next topic: just barely escaping being hit by lightning

I was standing naked
the wrath of Thor was mine to
face he missed by inches

Next: The sound of music

Yams, kittens and fleas:
some of my favourite things
*runs down hill with nuns*

nt: Hannibal Lecter

I'd wager a bet
that Hannibal would prefer
to taste you, not yams.

hehe

nt...people with purple hair

I have found people
with purple hair have often
tried to dye it red...

Next topic; sugar and spice.

Pumpkin pie without
sugar and spice would taste like
bland cardboard pudding.

Next topic: after driving for 5 hours, you
desperately want to find a place to eat.