h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do i get a gun in this seat (apart from my personal collection i mean) ?

Yes - twin machine guns - fired from the buttons on the throttles ... but they face forwards, so you won't be able to use them 'til we're out of the tunnel.

*tests them anyway, for 'ron*

Full speed reverse it is then...sounds a bit like my career

Alright! Hold on tight, everyone! ... and remember the instructions for painting the gutters ..... "Hold the paintbrush securely ... someone is about to remove the ladder". Lets' go!

*Grasps weapon in a menacing fashion and tries to peer over Kes's shoulder*

At least it feels as if it's getting cooler... won't be long now!

shazz

*As they near the tunnel mouth, the radar starts to pick up images ... seven objects in the sky ... lots of things at ground level*

Oh great! When we get out there - the rules are simple - if it moves - shoot it. If it doesn't move - throw a grenade at it.

*One of the seven objects in the sky hurtles towards the BFG's at an alarming rate with a growing whine that turns into a shriek as it gets closer*

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

*Gwennie crashes through the roof of the BFG vehicle and lands on the bar fridge*

Ouch! That hurt! Hahah! Thought you'd sneak around without me hey?

Just for that I'm not going to share my very large bottle of vodka here...

*Studies her surroundings*

Who are you shooting at by the way? What's happened and where are we?

Hey!
Welcome back Gwennie!
We have been stuck in the sewers for days now... trying to make do with very few provisions!
We seem to have finally found reverse on this thing... well Linus has anyway... and so we are once more going to brave the world of Deimos.
's perhaps?
Apart from you being one of the objects, we have no idea what we will be confronted with... maybe you have more idea as you have just appeared from that direction
shazz

*a polite knocking on the door with a machine gun/grenade thrower indicates that someone wants to enter. As noone seems to pay any attention the climbs through Gwennies private "skylight", looking extremely shell-schocked, jet-lagged and somewhat hung over*

- and could I have that intravenously?

Wow
It looks as if the gang is almost complete again!
I won't ask what you've been up to Pierce ... but you sure look dishevelled!

shazz

Well, in short: A fortnight ago I sailed up the Ouze to York and told the good people there, that I was the direct descendant of Eric Bloodaxe and that I had returned to reclaim my rightful belongings. They haggled with me for hours but finally gave in - on one condition: I had to drink a pint in every pub of the town. No match for an old viking turned pirate, I thought.

Did you know they have 365 pubs in that ****** city these days?

~aside to Pierce~
Hahahahaa!
No wonder you look dishevelled!
I hope you tried the REAL stuff... none of that mamby-pandy l*g**r!!!
~/aside~

Right... how are we doing? That accounts for two of the strange shapes in the sky! I wonder what the others are!

shazz

I doubt if they are going to be as friendly as the first two turned out to be! ... I reckon a rocket launcher would just about fit into that hole .... give me a hand to lash it in place ... and pass me a cold beer with the other hand

*Produces a whip (don't ask why I carry one ) and lashes Kes' hand and drinks his beer*

Oops! I seem to have got the wrong end of the stick (again)!

You wanted a hand then?

*Kes glares at Gwennie from over his smarting hand whilst Gwennie passes the cold beer to Kes and grins feebly*

* finally comes around, helps Kes with the rocket launcher, leaves the firing to him (as he doesn't feel quite up to that yet) and heads for the fridge to find something to freshen up with*

Do we have some Old Peculier in that fridge or was I only dreaming?

Ouch! At least it wasn't my drinking hand .... You'll have to operate the launcher ....This time don't forget about the safety catch!

Bound to be some old peculiar in there somewhere or was that just a flashback to Mari-rae

No ... you're thinking about the flashback from the missile launcher the last time we let G near it ....

Fridge must be full of the stuff

ROFL! Stop it, guys! It's impossible to hit anything with you lot carrying on like that! *loads the rocket launcher with a couple of pocket sized heatseeking missiles and fires at the remaining UFO's - hoping they are not friendly*