h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*drops gwennie off the nearest cliff*

ah, good, that's taken care of then. now bak to the barf-ridge

*Uses her emergency parachute (aka her very large thermal knickers) to land gently on the rocks below and commences her arduous climb back up the cliff face, muttering crossly about her plans for the *

if you are a wouldn't it be easier to fly up

what do you mean 'if', linus

()

Unfortunately my is merely an analogy of my disposition, Linus. Besides, I doubt that a pair of wings would be sturdy enough to lift my bulk up a cliff face.

*Scrambles up the final few metres of cliff and throws herself up over the edge and crawls in the direction of the bar fridge in search of sustenance*

Just you wait till I get my back!

i'm not going to wait for that. help me throw her down once more, linus

*Makes a lunge for and attaches herself to the bar fridge*

If I go, then this goes with me!

please don't i promise to be a good boy i will

i give you my word as a pirate

Hmmmm...

I'll meditate on it (and the fridge)!

as long as i can still get the door open...

seems to be absolutely no problem whatsoever

*Decides that her current location is both convenient and safe, so indulges in a *

Wotchya dun wiv Mari, Kes?

she isn't stuck in the tunnel, is she?

what are those sounds coming out of it, by the way

i thought that was you...

are we going to spend xmas here, i wonder?

in that case we should find something to eat. something that would fit the contents of the barfridge

a dead pig, perhaps. gwennie could have the apple

i forgot about gwennie being a vego and thought you were suggesting something entirely different for a second there...

Don't even go there!

*Lobs several large, unripe apples at her male companions*

That's for merely hinting that I resembled a pig!

*Reaches in the fridge for a soda siphon and empties its contents over her companions*

And so is that!

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh! water!

The slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick will follow shortly...