h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

maybe i'd better rinse my mouth with

ooooh, that beaver over there sure looks nice

Ta, Pierce. *takes shampoo and nips out to nearby block of flats*

*Screaming is heard, followed by a loud zapping noise*

. . . time passes . . .

*Zeek returns, hairdo immaculately slicked down*

Ah, much better. And about that screaming . . . I had nothing to do with it, I swear! Although there is a rather inconvenient dead body in a nearby dumpster . . . I don't suppose you have any place I could, well, dispose of it?

*looks all shifty*

surely putting it in a dumpster is disposing of it...

indeed. that's what they're there for, init?

anyway, looks like we've got company after all *points to the entrance where a hundred s in strange uniforms appear with assault rifles ppointed at the BFG's*

look, officers, i'm sure we can w*rk this out peacefully, once you've recovered from this:

I liked the

nice touch

well, we are not completely inhumane, are we?

more like un human sometimes

we just do what we do best

*looks to s*

. . .


. . .


. . .


*points to standing in doorway*

He's the ing who mussed my hairdo!

Normally, I'm a very forgiving gent, but . . . mussing my hairdo?! That's an unforgivable crime! FRAG 'IM!

*throws empty beer bottle at the who collapses on the floor*

can't hold his liquor

i see you need more ammo, linus

*starts emptying bottles fast*

*Pulls her silver six shooters out of their holsters, twirls them and begins firing into the crowd of slavering s.*

POW!POW!POW!POW!POW!POW!
POW!POW!POW!POW!POW!POW!


*Leaps behind the bar in order to reload. Discovers a packet of and a nice large Takes her time reloading...*

*Provides covering fire in the form of an RPG*

WHOOOOMPH!

*launches scores of heat seeking missiles*

nice work all, looks like we turned them into a mash

I actually prefer preparing my own ammunition you know

i can relate to that, brother in arms

but hey, there seems to be enough to go around, so no worries

what's this? a bottle marked "higly explosive" *and* "for internal use only"

wanna give it a try?

Oi, - lemme have a lookadat . . .

*looks at bottle*

Ahh, a bottle of Higly Explosive! The most potent drink in the known universe, barring Ol' Janx Spirit and the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster!

Only manufactured one month out of every hundred, because it requires a good supply of the flowers from a rather rare herb from Eroticon VI, which only blooms for three short days in the middle of summer . . .

yeah whatever...

just fill up a few glasses before we die of thirst

*Finishes reloading and saunters over to see what all the excitement is about.*

Ooooooooo! Highly Explosive!

*Holds out an expectantly.*

holy mother of zarquon, this stuff w*rks wonders

actually makes viagra feel like a strong sedative in comparison

where's eccentrica gallumbits when you need her?