h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

maybe we should land on io, one of jupiter's moons, and visit sean connery?

*Kicks Linus in his shins*

As a vegan with an excess of methane, which I'm more than willing to share, I happen to be very proud of my farts!

Vishit Sean Connery ? Why? Does he have something we need (like nose pegs)?

i seem to rememer him having a golf club up there. he was the only member of that club, mind you. but he had several clubs

Golf clubs (the membership type) or golf clubs (as in the things used to hit a little ball)?

confusing language, english, init?

It most circumcisely is... I constantly have trouble getting my tongue around it - the English language that is.

OOO, nice one, Gwennie, m'dear (#4222)

::wanders off to see if any of the remaining tourists have gas, so he can practice shooting them::

Gwennie,

I'm surprised at you. You are always telling us that Sean Connery has something that you want

*Adjusts course slightly, heading the liner for the Io Tax Exiles' Golf Club, where Gwennie can sample some lovely old Scotch . Makes mental note to get the Brussel sprout curry taken off the menu.*

i think that is a very wise move Kes

yeah, and maybe we should take irish stew special ( = with garlic and chili) and the german yellow pea soup off that menu as well?

Sean Connery has something that I want? What could that be then Linus? A bald head perhaps?

Mmmmmmm...sprout curry! *Slurp*

You lot take all the fun out of farting! Aww! Go on! Just one bowl of that pea soup stuff...Pleeeze!



Yesterday afternoon I went grocery shopping and stumbled upon a couple of tubs of houmous that were reduced for quick sale. Resistance was futile! I indulged myself with huge amounts of fresh French baton and two tubs of houmous for my dinner and now stink of garlic!

You should all feel sorry for John though as he loathes garlic in any form and even more so when his wife has been scoffing it!

Yes, yes, I feel so sorry for him

Are you sure he's not a ??? Maybe you should eat some more hummus or however the you spell it -- then go him and see if he melts. If he does, he might be a

oh, i'm sure he melts *every* time he gets a from his lovely wife

*Rubs knuckles into the palm of his hand*

s...

Oh, I dunno, I know a few that aren't so bad... you just sorta have to watch yourself around 'em, you know... make sure you've got the garlic-tipped nails loaded up in the nailgun, you know, that sorta thing, but they're not ALL bad.

I think garlic tipped wooden nails would be more the thing to stop a .


Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

*Stops for a quick and notices that they are indeed there! Io in all its vulcanic splendor is below them and there is a large dome covering acres and acres of golf course and club house.*


Oooooooooooooooo!

*Reduces thrust, adjusts lateral controls, and sets the liner down close to the club house ... close enough for an airlock gantry to reach them. Pretty close, considering. Not perfect, but they can call that hole the short 18th from now on .....*

Fancy a couple of rounds in the bar anyone?

*Pushes her way past Kes and hurries to the Golf Shoppe. Obtains a set of clubs for herself, a couple of tees, a scorecard, a sunvisor, one leather glove, a pair of Adidas golf shoes size 9, and a fresh pack of Titelists. Wiping the blood off her new golf bag, she goes back into the bar....*

How about a quick 18? Anyone??

*flicks a cigar in the direction of Jupiter and watches the blaze*

Goodness gracious great balls of fire!