h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think I'm getting the hang of the controls now ....

*Pushes a few buttons decisively.

The vending machine dispenses a darn good G&T and a pickled egg.

A marquee is deployed over the swimming pool, and a supply of air (or possible chlorine, might have hit the wrong button there) is bled into it.

The liner steadies.*

That's the secret - see! Don't fiddle with the thrust if you're changing direction ... one thing at a time! Where to now?

*Thinks a moment.*

I could use a bit of a lift towards Mount Damp. I have a package to drop off there.

*Is too busy studying Mari's badly swollen and jewel encrusted nose to take much notice of her surroundings*

Mari......? Oh never mind!

*Wonders what else, apart from tape and nail guns that Thog keeps in the depths of his loincloth*

What's the doing on the bottom of the pool with that ?

*turns on the poolside TV to watch Farscape on the scifi chanel*

Did you know that SCIFI chanel is canceling Farscape? After they finish filming season four, the sets are being struck Friday, so if you don't want to see it all end, visit my personal space for the address of the Save Farscape Patitions. Season five has been written and there is a script for a movie, so no season finale has been filmed. And remember, Crackers Do Matter!

:: nanonseconds before the eats the the pool and everything in it is deep frozen. the s last thoughts are "i hope they thaw me before they thaw that " ::

Does anyone have any anti-freeze handy for the ?

I'm really about Sci-Fi pulling out of the 5th season of Farscape! No more Ben Browder sporting black leather and flashing his biceps...

*Hands Gwennie a hankie. Filets the and grills up steaks in a corner of the Bridge. Hands Pierce a to wrap up in, Fingers her swollen, sore, nose and rotates the huge diamond stud therein.*

Kes, let's go to visit the big balloony people who live in the middle atmoshpere of Jupiter. I hear they have a in mass chorus of gaseous choral singing going on right now.

I dunno mari... I think if we just made some beans with them steaks, we could do a damn good impression o that ourselves...

Gwennie, I keep my nailguns in their holsters, which are attached to my Invisible Boots... I theorize that a loincloth is by definition a bad place to keep nailguns... And as to the rest of your question, well, why don't you just come on over here and find out!

::downs the V&T that just inexplicably popped out of the vending machine and wanders off, still looking for something that is not quite, but almost, entirely unlike ::

*Thoroughly sprays the with antifreeze and rubs him briskly with Mari's rough *

Got any room in your loincloth for a large tin of antifreeze Thog?

I was unawares that s were common on cruise ships...

Well, it's different on pirated cruise ships -- they're actually quite common, then!

And, erm, sorry, no room for antifreeze.

:: downs a few italian ::

thank you, gwennie. i don't need any more anti freeze

*Shoots a rubberband at Kes to get his attention...*

pssst! Jupiter! go for it!

Jupiter! Yes, by Jove! Great idea.

Let's swing by one of the major moons and surprise them ...

*Adjusts the controls, humming as he does so ...*

"Io ...Io ... it's off to work we go ...."

Ah! The Io Io song...

What's on jupiter?

Apparently there's a farting chorus... why exactly we're going to see it is a bit beyond me, but... so it goes.

::wanders randomly down corridors, looking for or, failing that, something interesting to shoot::

Whee! We're off to Jupiter! Is that the one with all the pretty rings or the big zit on one side?

*Winces at a baleful look from Kes*

*avoids flying hay bale*

I've always found alcohol applied via the mouth to be an effective antifreeze

It's the one with the zit, Gwennie .
Hay! Look out Linus!
Thog ... there'll be lots of things to shoot on Jupiter ... just that they're all gaseous

like certain people around here that i won't mention