h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>we are all too selfish to live in a utopia - wed grab, and punch and >kick our way to the top, not caring about anyone else. it isnt >eliberate necessarily, but selfishness is a primal drive against >which it is difficult to fight for anyone.
Now one could disagree with
you that there are a lot
off people who in are current
society
are like that. You are however incorect when you
say that 'we',implieing all of us, are like that
were not.
You give a lot of creedence to 'prime evil' drives
but you are infact wrong. The environment pays a very large
role in the development of morals in this way it is posiple
to raise people to get along.
I do not how ever belive that a child is a blank slate
there are of cource genetic factours injfact it is true
that when people are living in prosperos cercumstances
there drive to live in socaly groups harmonously over rides
there will to power.
Peolpe are social animals they like to be content they
dont like to be always battling all so if we take away the
advantage of fighting ie gaining more power it will become pointless.

heard from outside "and this is the former site of the world famous Utopia Cafe, run by personification of sugar and spice...Ms Purple Jenny"...the door swings open and in walk a busload of Japanese tourists...My God, it's open again... right...everyone back on the bus and get back to the hotel...I'm going to be hanging out here for a while. PJ et all, how are ya? Ah, still serving up that cake are we? Excellent. Love what you've done with the place...who's that guy in the gestapo leather taking notes in the corner? He's writing down everything I say....hey. Booger. Winkle. He gave me an odd look when I said winkle. I'll try to ignore him. Nope, not working. Try humming the theme from Dam Busters and see if that upsets him...ah, it's working. OK...some coffee please...nice and black if that's ok.

sorry. i neglected to read on into the messages. my reply was to one near the start.

Jazz good to se ya have some
Mr Jorden stick aound the conversation moves all over the place here...

Chill and go with the flow
and on no acounts except any
of the wonderfull Druugs they
may or may not be handing round
and by that I am definatly not
incoraging anything.

And dont worry theres nothing in the cakes.

you sure

this cake tastes terrific...can I have one of those brownies as well? All the way from Afghanistan you say? Interesting texture...I'll save it for later. I'll just be thumbing through the magazines over in the corner if you need me.

ok i'll stay. if there's deffinately nothing in the cake then i'll have some of that too please.

thanks. what do you have by way of alcohol?

PJ keeps a wide ranging stock behind the bar, what do you want ?

Oi! In this magazine here it says that in 1980, there were 160 professional Elvis impersonators across the planet. Today, they estimate that there's over 20,000. By my calculations, that either means that every day roughly 3 people actually decide they prefer the feel of rhinestone fashioned pantsuits and big sideburns...or else there has been a mutation in the human gene structure so perverse, so hideous, so diabolical in its cunning that it has cleverly hidden itself in full view. When compared to the recent spikes in ufo sightings (usually about 10 minutes after a decent x-files episode), it reveals an indication that these so called 'Elvis impersonators' are actually the resulting love children of crumpet mad aliens bent (of course) on world domination through their cross polinating breeding program. When I think about it, I have never seen an Elvis impersonator fall sick, never seen one in an emergency ward, never heard of one being run over by a bus. My God, it could be true.

Elvis rules

And seemingly, soon he'll rule the world

Don't call him the 'King' for nothing

it wouldn't be such a bad thing. i can think of worse people to rule the world, tony blair for instance.
i'll have a murphies please, if you've got one

:: Looks for PJ, sees she is asleep, so nips behind bar ::



There you go

While you're up, would you mind checking to see if there's any Canadian beer there...nice and cold please. And a packet of crips if its not too much trouble. Are potato chips actually made from the much maligned vegetable or am I eating synthetic crunchy stuff?

hands over the goodies, (real things)

hey, very good. thanks. (opens the crips to discover the bag is actually filled with......crisps) So friends, what problems of the world shall we solve (crunch) today? (munch, munch)