h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello MIB. How about we start with you? May I see your identification, please? After which, you might tell us all where you were at the time of the explosion ....

[MIB][]

[jwf] *recognises them beady eyes behind those shades*

[MIB] *realises he's been spotted grabs his wig from ~jwf~ and runs away*

[jwf]
Hey Pheroneous! Come back. If you're still alive who was that who got blowed up in the Portakabin?

[Regular Copper] *appears out of nowhere*
Oh we'll soon know, don't you worry. We're running DNA tests even as we speak.

I don't think it was the late DNA though , ......

[Philippa]

*Still moping about amid the remains of the Portabarkin and gore.*

OH!

Do you think it was him, Philippa?

[Philippa]

*Shading her eyes and looking after the hurrying figure.*

I'm not sure...

[Regular Copper]
Well you'll all be relieved to know your Mister Pheroneous is still alive, somewhere. It seems he sent up a clone.

[jwf]
See I knew it. I told you that was him runnin' off.

[Regular Copper]
Yes, criminals invariably return to the scene of their crime. Well, my work is done here. Carry on. G'day.

[Philippa]

Oh, well. That's good, then.

*Stoops, picks up a stray finger and tosses it into the bushes.*

Shall we celebrate? sounds delicious, if there is any inside the Snug?

*jwf returns carrying dozens of followed by a Dashing Young Preppie carrying *

Hey folks we're gonna set up a net across the drive here where the portakabin was and encourage the more athletic to get some exercise.

[Dashing Young Preppie]

Fore!


*The less athletic can fill up on .*

Is there anyone (apart from Mari Rae) who qualifies? The O in BOF hasn't changed its significance has it?

[Philippa]



Ooooo! Tennis? or Badminton? *jumping up and down with enthusiasm*

jwf, I am so impressed with your initative! Hi there, Wand'rin Star, care to go a round?

*Nibbles a strawberry...*

*Appears with battered tin tray depicting a very un-PC young lady, on which is a jug of diluting fruit juice and a couple of glasses.* Right then you athletic lot, who wants some juice, straight from the cold tap. Only sixpence a glass. Be quick about it, if I stay out here much longer I'll have to get my panama.

Wot! No Pimms?

Good God man! The tray is groaning as it is. I'll go and get my hat, and the Pimms while I'm there, but this will entail a price hike.

*Calls out after the retreating hatless figure*
Don't forget the cucumber ... or the borage!

*Returns, with hat, bottle of Pimms and a bowl of steaming porridge* I just saw some little girl running down the road with this. Didn't want her spilling it so I took it off her. Anyone want some?

No porridge in my Pimms thanks .......

[Philippa]

*Gives coins to Munchkin and takes a fruit juice. Says nothing about the crumbs in the bottom of her glass.*

Mmm, very tasty. Thank you, Munchkin.

[Regular Copper]
'ello 'ello. Is that a bowl of steaming porridge I see there. Well now, we've 'ad a complaint from a little girl here says ..lessee
*consults his notes* "some smelly old boozy old fart stole me porridge". Eh what? And here's a steaming bowl of porridge on a Terrace full of ..old farts. What am I to make of that then?

[jwf]
It was 'im what blowed up officer, 'onest it was. The Pheronious clone, see. He was none too stable that one. Tha's how he come to blow hisself up y'see.

[Regular Copper]
*is making notes but learing at Philippa*

*Looks over copper's shoulder at notebook*

Erm ... that's spelled with two "e"s ...not "ea" ...