h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Fancy a triple jwf?

Hmmm... a lady who doesn't trifle with triples probably means trouble.
I think I'll just packzip my tribbles in my old kit bag and...
Hey sure, why not!
x 3

~jwf~

I'm going to have to go work on my fractal programs. I'm sure I saw a plaid fractal somewhere.

Oi! I said I'd be paying *my* tab, not everyone else's! (think <torch&gt

You'll have to wait for the bartender. Nobody else has the courage to touch the cashbox, since he rewired the trap.

>> I'm sure I saw a plaid fractal somewhere. <<

Ompissible! The plaid, the right holy plaid, is not of Nature's doin'. Creating such intricately intersected lines, a design of infinite interstices using only two plains at right angles is beyond the ken of Mother Nature. She's more the honeycomb and pine cone and coral type.

Nature hates long parallel lines as much as she hates a vacuum. Look what she does to sedimentary layers; always having a big upheaval over those. Only rarely can one find a natural piece of rock split squarely on more than two or three sides. The true conquerors of this planet designed plaid as a stack of parallel lines at right angles to another stack. It's guaranteed to stop Mother Nature in her tracks, to make her stare in awe at the works of 'mann'.

And yet, I suppose a mathematical representation of one of the simpler weaving patterns could be rendered into an arithmetic model using a lot of pi. One sure thing about the elliptic patterns of sines and cosines, and all that algorythmic stuff, is that they do indeed tend to spawn fractal growths along the edges, like any closed system (Life, the Universe et al) is wont to do.

Oh, btw, how about this little sign for the front window.

"Order your holiday drinks now,
for the guaranteed slowest service in the Universe."


~jwf~

I really like it being parky. that`s fine.

aye, parky's great.














speshly since he developed all those lovely crinkles

I thought his crinkles were caused by a defect in my old TV tube ... oh well maybe not ... then again, on second thoughts, Christina Aguileri looks wrinkly on my TV ... a thought which makes me come all over thirsty ... a large Scotch please, barsteward ... put it on someone's tab (other than mine)

I say, get us a Singapore Sling while you're up - i lost my legs hunting dung beetles in west africa

No wonder you can't see over the top of the bar! Commiserations, ... and mine's a pint ...

Sorry, I only do sandwiches. What a shame it is our barkeep can't find the time to stop by and wash the glasses...

Dear Lil ... *attempts what he thinks is a winning smile* ... if you pull a pint, and then put a slice of bread beneath the , plus a slice above ... surely that qualifies as a sandwich?

But it will get a bit sloppy when I fry it, don't you think? I mean,
I have to flip it over and all.

let me get this right lad - you want tae be served wi' summat wet and full o' hops?

Such as one of these ?
Sorry about the delay there. I just had a new delivery of Horny Toad and David Lloyd George flavour crisps, had to change the barrel of Old Phlegm Spurter and the bloke on the treadmill who runs the generator tried to escape. Now, was there anything else?

*greatly relieved* I'm glad I don't have to get that inflatable thing out. It still has some pinholes in it from the last feline attack, and it makes rude noises when I operate the foot pump.

Did you get more of those Best Plastic-y Cheese Slices?

And decorations? Did ya get any xmas desocrations?

Hey, it's that time of year again folks.

~jwf~

New decorations?? The ones we got the year before last should do perfectly well. They're in the cellar.

The old holly still looks fine and the angel's head is easily returned to its correct position. Let us not get too hasty about sticking up these decorations though, we don't want to look like some modern High Street with lights up months in advance now do we.