h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jumping into the air and making loud noises?

This Earl guy hasn't moved in hours. Do you think we should hold a mirror under his nose?

Do you really want to see what is up his nose? These nobility types are always putting things up there.

As long as his tab at the bar is still running, he qualifies as alive.

*Calls over to the bar*
An and another sherry while we're waiting for the house red, please!

*aside to Munchkin* How do I get the toads into the holes?

Lil, would you like a sherry? Did all those hunky cowboys come with you?

You put small princesses at the bottom of the holes, I think. Then the Frog comes along, rescues the princess, kisses her and she turns into a frog. Then you hit both frogs on the back of the head and throw them back into the hole. Easy really.

You forgot the cheesey bits...

Cheesy bits?

but that'd be Frog-in-The-Hole - and that ain't right!

Put some flies in the bottom of the hole, but make sure they're still alive as toads / frogs can;t see dead flies.

I will have to remember that next time I am being pursued by a giant Hypnotoad. Just play dead and it can't see you.
Now, wasn't I pouring drinks or something?

Well, if your offering ?

*Lil has gone into the back room, from whence are heard several whacking-spatula sounds, before she comes out again*

350 degrees for 40 minutes. That'll get 'em squeaking and bubbling.

Those cowboys and webjellos, well, in another incarnation I was kidnapped by the webjello gang and a posse of salonistas set out to rescue me. It took months because they stopped so frequently for meals. They dropped by here on the way back to the atelier. We just have to wait and see what this one does...

*aside to Munchkin* The cheese tried to get away, but I put a bell jar over it. This was lying on the table next to it. *holds up a bus ticket to Leicester*

Ahh,

Was it going to the Communist Party meet there?

'Cos then it'd be Red Leicester.

If this were the Goon show you would be shot for that. In fact, if anyone has a gun it could be the Goon Show.

What? A cunning piece of cerebral word-play like that? Gah, I can see I shall have to keep these coming until you are educated in the lost art of witty reparte and word-play!

although an or two might cause me to delay this masterclass of humour somewhat....

If that was cunning word play then I've been saying nasty things about Eccles for years. Actually, I think I have been saying nasty things for years in general. 'Hey ho', said Rolly.
So, was it? And ?

*drinks and *
*mutters something about 'loving it when a plan comes together'*

*wobbles and collapses in a nice comfy chair*

aaaahhhhhhh.....

*serves up a casserole dish of toad-in-the-hole on the counter, and puts several plates and some cutlery on the side* Your order is served!

*aside to Munchkin* Are the eyes supposed to do that?

One portion for me please! Can you make it heavy on the 'hole', light on the 'toad' and with a side order of antacid?