h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The R.I.B. sticks his head out the door to have a look. It returns with the peak of his cap having melted somewhat. He gives Ictoan a rubbery thumbs up and then gestures at the beer pumps*

Righty-ho,

GRUBS UP!

So you gonna do the food or the beer? I can pour pints, but it might end up being a one-for-you-one-for-me affair...

Hi Iccy, Oh can we lend a hand with that? *takes 's out to Munchkin*, Mmmmm........ smells good. Sorry we can't stop to sample any, must get sleep.

Hi SPA, got some loverly grub out there I here. Bit of canal weed thrown in cos SOMEONE forgot the salad. Ah well, it's green and has no discernable taste so I s'pose it will do.

So is everyone outside then? Whats it like? Am I liable to disintigrate into a pile of dust in the blazing July sunshine?

*Blazing sunshine?! The R.I.B. chortles at the thought, producing a very unpleasent wave effect over his front*

Oh damn, do you have to pick up on all my typo's Munchkin?

Blazing sunshine / pouring rain - it's soooo easy to confuse them....

for all cos it's lunchtime!

Does the R.I.B do oyster shooters?

Mmmmmmmm............ Oyster Shooters, wot are they Tefkat, and are they intoxicatingly. We're rather partial to B52's, in HUGE ones.

*The R.I.B. guddles around under the bar before pulling out a bucket with "Oysters for the making of Stout, hands off, signed Toccata" and a small spud gun. He fires an experimental couple of wads of paper into the bucket*

Hiya Auntie Tefkat! Sorry, couldn't resist

Same question here, wot are these oyster shooters then?

never actually had oysters. They don;t look particularly appealing, I must say!

I see she's got the oysters...so when's she gonna make the stout??

And why was she hiding them out in the garden?????

Dum dum duuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm
#

Tune in to next weeks exciting episode....

*looka aghast at the RIB* Stop him Tefkat, you know how sensitive Oysters can be!

*The R.I.B. loos askance (which is very hard in rubber) at SPA. His look almost says "Frying can sort out all that sensitivity nonsense"*

They're sensitive?
Well, don;t upset them then R.I.B., as we're gonna eat them there's no point adding insult to injury

hows everyone this bright and cheerful monday then?

Personally, I'm hoping the air-con fix-it person turns up before I do my wicked witch impression and start melting.

, and a cold one pls?

Hmm, that good eh?

Maybe I should wait till wednesday when you're more likely to be awake?

*The R.I.B. looks agrieved that his silent rendering of all the gossip he heard on his night off down the bowls club has been received so badly*

Not wishing to offend the RIB, but we think he "Guddles" quite expertly. As to the Gossip......well our lips are sealed

*The R.I.B. wipes his brow in Pantomime "Phew" gesture*

And we won't tell anyone about the collection of Marigolds he keeps under his mattress either

*The R.I.B. produces a for SPA*