h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A shocked cough comes from the direction of the terrace doors*

Oops, I think we're being watched!

*Turns round a bit and waits*


And Waits.....


and Waits............

*Yawns delicately and joins in with the waiting*

*Much busy reed cutting can be heard from outside, exactly fitting with someone who is trying to sound as if they are busy and not eavesdropping*

*the RIB stirs in the corner where it had recently been tossed* Hi Tocc's, checking the till? There's nothing much in there except old Francs, Lira, the odd Mark and Peseta. We think there's also some Monopoly notes there too that were found tucked down the back of one of the seats when they hunted for the lost dominoes. We see the RIB's been abused by Eccsy again!

*A issing noise is heard from under the bar*

A Hissing sound even

*A cloud of dense purple smoke issues from under the bar, but does not dissapate or drift, masking the whole area.

A shape can just be made out. Enlarging as it emerges from the mist*

*Munchkin's head pops round the door*No! You've thumped the knobkerrie to hard! Oh dear, I haven't tried that setting yet, I'm not sure what will happen.

*A fullsized humanoid entity comes into view as the ether settles*

Oh Heck!

That must have been full on Bar-Wench Setting!

*Toccata stares in open mouthed shock at the Rubber Inflatable Barmaid*

Blimey whats stopping her from falling over?

*mutters, the air-head?*

Does this mean we get table-service now?

I don't know lets try......

Hullo Miss, I'd like a bucket O'Gin out in the garden, and Zantic, over there in the dragon-wingback will have a........ what ya having Zan?

bucket of Pimms and lemonade ta..

*The R.I.B-M winks salaciously and totters over with the required drinks, spilling them wildly. It then giggles inflatedly and returns to behind the bar*

*Calls out of the terrace door* Is there a volume control on this thing Munchkin?

Thanks lass,

*Picks up bucket and wanders out to the terrace to hunt for her glass*

*The R.I.B-M. stands behind the bar and wipes a glass in a coy manner while fluttering its rubber eyelashes at a quietly snoring form in a wingback*

*snored loudly and drools....the dragon ain't much better either. Wakes up whne the half full bucket of Pimms aqnd lemonade tips over and deposits contents on the snughound (who was curled up against the warm belly of the red wing-backed dragon)...who wakes up and starts howling*

Shaddup mutt!

*SPA walk in, with two large cardboard boxes which they deposit on the floor and open* "phew! that was hard work but it was fun" *Snughound sidles over and gets a salutary scratch behind the ear* well boy we've been busy with the paint brushes and.........Oh a new member of bar staff, we'll have two 's and a packet of scratchings please love, see the RIB's got competition. Well where shall we put these. hmmmm over here would be nice *takes large brightly coloured and badly japaned coffee pot and places it on the window sill.

*Two pints are poured sloppily by the R.I.B-M while it looks with great suspicion at the coffee pots*