h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Old Speckled Hen is brewed by Moorlands, or Moorhouses; I can never remember which. It's a pale, golden ale. Quite strong, 5% if memory serves.

Old Peculier is brewed by Theakstons. Dark & rich; it's almost a stout. It's very strong and tastes kinda woody. Lovely stuff.

Old Speckled Hen is the nectar of the Gods.

Morlands it is, an Oxfordshire brewery (like Hook Norton), very refreshing summer dink in my opinion. Theakstons Old Peculier is a dark horse of a different colour. Once found it on tap - brilliant!

Yes, Old P's more of a winter ale. Comes from Masham in the Yorkshire Dales, also the site of the Black Sheep brewery, whose beers are also well worth looking out for (must be something in the water).

Indeed, good sir.If it's got Theakston's on the pump, then I'm probably going to drink it at some point in the evening.

Another fine, fine ale is Pendle Witch, brewed by Moorhouses in Burnley. It's a gorgeous "real" ale. I'm not sure how far it travels because the brewery's only very small.

The Holts brewery in Strangeways, Manchester, brews a bitter that can't travel more than about 10 miles before it changes into cat pee. This is a shame, because the closer you get to the brewery, the better it gets; at the 5 mile radius it's an acquired taste that's worth the effort to acquire. The Derby Brewers Arms in Strangeways serves a pint of Holts which is one of the best tasting ales you're ever likely to drink.

Ah, Pendlewitch (the number of words seems to vary, I think it was originally "Pendle Witches' Brew") has certainly made it to Leeds. You've got a better chance of finding it towards the end of October.

All Morlands beers are brewed by Greene King now. They're currently demolishing the brewery in Oxford City centre

The Brewery they are demolishing in Oxford City Centre is Morrels. Morland was in Abingdon. RIP both.
Incidentally, most, if not all Old Peculier is brewed in Newcastle at the large Scottish Courage plant. Masham is more of a living Brewery Museum.

I always get Morlands and Morrels mixed up. No idea why.

Could be a result of excessive consumption of either?

Doubt it, I don't drink much of either.

Being a Foreigner to the British Isles and consequently living Abroad, I am sometimes very lucky to find a store that sells either OSH or Old P. in my home country. Truly great beers!

I visited Yorkshire quite a lot when still young and wild and always searched for pubs with draught Old Peculier. Bottles if this brew are rare in Holland, so I buy them everytime they appear. OSH is easier to find over here. It goes down very well on a sunny afternoon in the garden, especially with a packet of, again imported, salt'n'v. crisps.