h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Which also completely rubbishes the Script - and I can see why!

It treats it like a Cheesy SF action flick...

But that's all ancient history now (I hope)...

Everyone has been posting a dream cast, how about a nightmare cast?

Let's face it, with Disney it's more likely. I propose:

Sylvester Stallone - Arthur Dent
Steven Segal - Ford Prefect
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Zaphod Beeblebrox
Madonna - Trillian
Robin Williams - Marvin (rescripted as a sensitive man-child robot)
Norman Wisdom - The Vogon Captain

YIKES

Didn't I see, somewhere earlier in this conversation, a recommendation that Carey Elwes play one of the major characters? 'Twould make me very happy... Also Julian Sands as someone intense--maybe the officer on the cruise ship who wants to interrogate Arthur and Ford? Naw, now that I think of it, that officer should be a blusterer... Can anyone else think of a part for Julian? (He was in Warlock and Arachnophobia)

How about Hotblack or Man In Pub or just about any other totally minor and non-speaking part. I'm sorry, but apart from A Room With A View, I find him to be the most terribly wooden actor. Mind you, I might just be prejudiced after making the incredible mistake of going to see Boxing Helena. (Still sends shivers up my spine when I think of it.)

Arthur - what about one of the Fienes brothers? I can remember which ones which but either would do a good job i think. I don't think they should cast "funny" actors, the script should do the funny bits.

I agree in principle, but as The Avengers proved, Ralph Fiennes can do "intense" really well but can't really seem to step down a gear to do something lighter. And I just don't think Joseph Fiennes is terribly good - a bit bland for Arthur. I think something that has to be considered is that Arthur is potentially a rather dull fellow - he's an Everyman figure and in order to present him in an interesting way, you need someone with some comedic skills. He needs to be exaggerated slightly but in a subtle way. That's why I still think Hugh Laurie is ideal.

Who said I wanted Julian in for his acting?

I love the idea of Hugh Laurie as Arthur. Not Robin Williams noway nohow notovermydeadbody. I think we could slot in Stephen Fry too - perhaps as the bath-lounging captain? Maybe a few people from The League of Gentlemen kicking about in there? And the wide-eyed Ardal O'Hanlon? Am I pushing my luck yet?

I always pictured the bathing captain as chubby and a bit daft. I'm horrible with names, but isn't Stephan Fry the guy that's been on Whose Line is it , Anyway? with the salt-and-pepper hair and black eyebrows? If so, wouldn't he be great for the wanting-to-interrogate officer?

Stephen Fry used to have a show with Hugh Laurie and also starred with him as Jeeves to Laurie's Wooster in adaptations of the Wodehouse books. He's been in Blackadder and wrote some books too. He also famously went AWOL for a while in the middle of a stint on stage. I think he eventually turned up in France! He could probably play either role to be honest. I just want to see him in there somewhere because I think he's a brilliant British comic actor!

Stephen Fry as the captain in the bath would be excellent. A few League of Gents types would also work. But I think the remaining Pythons would have to be in there as the whole feeling of Hitchhikers is so suffused with the Pythons.

Jim Carrey? Ever seen the Cable-Guy... If you're like everyone else you didn't but that is a great reason not to consider that moron for a role that a BRITISH actor should play. Even alot of fans here in the USA think that it sucks. I'm with you 100%.

CAREY? Are you SERIOUS??? If that's true, and they cast him as Arthur Dent, I'm going to make sure somebody dies for it!!!!! That guy was right, he's only there to pull stupid faces. Also, why cast a big star into it? Find someone less well known but ENGLISH, use them. Oh and one other thing, I reckon the guide graphics should be exactly the same as in the wonderfully hammed televised version from a few decades back , not tarted up at all, what do you think?

Munch

Well, if they had the Guide in Goo...

Patrick Stewart would be IDEAL for the Book, dontcha think?!

I think also that Hugh Laurie would be great as Arthur Dent, he radiates the same sort of cool, calm composure as Peter Jones did and would good in that dressing gown...not that I have a thing for Hugh of course, I'm talking professionally! But who for the others? Hmmmm, they'd have to be English, or be able to pull a good accent off. I don't want another hybrid accent disaster a la Costner in Robin Hood!

You know who I think would be good for Ford? Tell me I'm crazy if you like, but what about that guy from the Adam and Joe Show, Joe? I dunno, he reminds me of him in the way of his mannerisms, he has a cheeky grin and nice eyes As for Trillian, I would like to see Drew Barrymore; she looks like a Trillian. Crap excuse I know, but there we are.

As for Zaphod, I just can't think of anyone other than Mark Wing-Davey, he IS Zaphod, just as Malcolm McDowell is Alex DeLarge; you couldn't see someone else playing such an iconic character, could you?

Here are some of my casting thoughts:

Arthur - Paul Merton
Ford - Richard E Grant
Trillian - Samantha Janus
The book - Tom Baker
Slartibartfast - Michael Caine

I'll stop now, it's getting silly!!

And why should that be a problem on H2G2?????

Isn't it almost a requirement?

Hmmm, I would hope so, otherwise I'm in for a lot of trouble!

Maybe you're right. What about Keanu Reeves as Arthur (doing his *excellent* English accent from 'Dracula')