h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I see... Thanks.
*mutters something about s*

Bit of a hairy situation, here.



Hati, did you write down the recipe for Pan's drink? You could sell it to bald men and make a fortune.

Did she have nose hair before? I don't think she did........



I think Hati needs an antidote!

dozes ina quiet corner.

If she sneezes, we're all in trouble. I'm afraid to look under her arms.

*pulls herself up to her full 4'11" and takes a deep breath*

Hati, it's time for a visit from the Nair fairy.

*takes her by the hand and leads her to the ladies room*

*Backtracking somewhat*

Pan, I've had one (or two) of those drinks. They are called brain hemorages down here

*The front and back doors slam open as soldiers file through, running in that strange millitary fashion and saying 'hut-hut-hut' a lot. The spin around obstacles dramatically, and take up positions behind chairs, the bar, and other soldiers.*

[Officer] We're looking for a group of anarchists supposed to be around here. Hand them over, or- or- or... we'll be forced to buy drinks and wait!

*takes a good look at all the gorgeous young men*

Actually, you don't have to buy drinks, you can just help yourselves.

*Several of the soldiers at the attention.*

[Officer] Oh, well, thanks. But we're on... offical... business.

*Looks at the soldiers.*

[Officer] Um. But we probably have time for a quick drink, boys?

*The soldiers cheer, and help themselves to the drinks.*

[Officer] Hey, pass the tip jar over!

Feel free to make use of the facilities, there are showers in the Gents if you need to freshen up.

*takes a closer look and spots some female soldiers*

Slight crisis occuring in the Ladies, but if the bayonets are nice and sharp, Hati may want to borrow one.

...*swishes over to {Officer}...runs her finger around his ear...coos softly...* Is that a gun in your waste band?
Or are ya' jusss glad ta' see me?
Belly up boys! Drinks are on me!...*lays on the bar putting wee shots in her belly...*

...*whispers...*linus, that's dis-cuss-ta-lating.but thanks for sharing.Sounds like Hati's putting up a struggle in the Ladies...MAKEYOURBETSHERE!
Hati or the hare?! ...*is pelted with empty ale mugs...*

*Slams a pint pot down on Pan's up-turned belly*

Oooh! Look! Pan's tummy wobbles!

*Crashes into the arms of a nice young soldier who shrieks in horror as Gwennie plants a on his mouth before retreating into the Gents toilets*

Was it something I said or is the garlic I ate last night still a bit strong on my breath?

...*hops off bar...grabs chair leg...goes after Gwennie...*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Glances around at the soldiers.*

Um...

*as Pan s pass, Caer's left leg seems to stick out at strange angle, right in Pan's path*

*Applauds as Pan careers into a cluster of nice young soldiers and grins stupidly up at them*

Hooray for Caerwynn! I'd call that killing two birds with one stone...Pan's happy (temporarily) and with any luck she'll forget about bashing me over the head with that bit of wood!

Those poor lads look a bit worried though!

*looks a bit *

*Exits ladies room dragging a hugh trash bag full of hair.*

Hati, you look very ladylike again.

Oooooohhhhhh. Soldiers. Don't tell them about the crew in the billiards room quite yet. We haven't received our new shipment of body bags.



Hi, guys, I see you've met Pandora. Here, Pan, let me help you up.

*Holds out her hand and accidentally pulls a tad too hard and sends Pan careening off in the lap of a guy with a gun.*
with a gu un, with a gu un, no you can't get a man with a gun

No doubt Pan will discover whether the gun in is his pocket or not now, hey Hypatia...