h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Already gave 'em to Jade, Myst

Hati, I'd say we need a few more cases of clorox, say, like, oh, maybe a hundred, and the body bags... well, you know, I'm a traditional type, I like the black, but feel free to get some in designer colors if you like

Right. I'm not even going to pretend I know what you're talking about with the body bags and such. Just so long as Thras doesn't start flaming again.

Yes, well, we're sort of preparing for a hostage situation here, you know, and that usually involves body bags.

Sweet midgets, gherkins, bread and butter, kosher dills, watermelon, pickled cauliflower and zucchini spears.....that's about it.

Call the pickle salesman! We need more pickles!

Takes another look at Thog and decided to stay in the closet. I wonder what would happen if I tried to hide in my tapestry bag? Hope it doesn't become necessary, but I don't like the looks of March so far.

Stuffs some of the bread and butter pickles and kosher dills into the bag along with a tube to the vat on the roof. Gives Thog a wide berth as she makes her way to the kitchen to stock the bag.

Some people are so dramatic! Sheeze. ==========~~~~

*Walks back to the billards room.*

Hypatia, dear, if you'd been in on the conversations in the billiards room lately, I don't think you'd say my preparations were overly dramatic... just a few wee precautions, you know.
*decides not to mention the other forty-two types of weapons that /can't/ be seen stashed around the room*


*quaff*

Thog, my hero!

I'll never doubt you again! Well, probably not! That bunch in the billiards room needs a lesson or 42.

Checks the tapestry bag to see if she has anything to turn into a weapon. Well, there's this old recipe of my Granny Althea's that is supposed to turn people into slugs. I've never tried it...seeing as how I really hate slugs. I guess it's worth a try. But how would I get them to drink it?

That old black magic has me in it's spell....

*hands Hypatia a Super-Soaker 10000XP*

Mix your potion about 10X strong, put it in there, and they shoudln't /need/ to drink it -- just hose 'em down and they should at least get all slimy, if not actually turn into slugs. Slime'll slow 'em down... now... where's that salt?

Salt is one thing we have lots of. And if we run out, we'll dump pickle juice on them!
I'm feeling better all ready.

*walks in from the billiards room*
Well, dear, I have good news Jade and Thras have agreed to my terms, namely, that they and their group will rent the billiards room on a peaceful basis and they will not take any hostages. Jade and Thras have both personally guaranteed this, and I trust them... well, Jade, anyway -- there's only so far you can trust a daemon.

In any case, they now wish to discuss the rent, and I do not have the authority to speak on behalf of this establishment in matters of monetary exchange, so would you be a darling and go in there and talk to Jade? She's very nice and reasonable, I don't think you'll have any problem, and I do believe that she can keep the chaps in line

Thank you, dear!

Mission accomplished. Thog you've saved us all!

Kicks off her shoes, and curls up in her rocker in the corner with a trashy novel, a joint ========~~~~~, a large pizza and a pickle.

Another day in the fast lane.

I don't know what it is about billiards rooms, they always seem to hold trouble.

*heads to the Ladies' to freshen up*

I always thought they were full of balls Caerwynn...

*Receives a blank look from Caerwynn who holds the ladies' door open for Gwennie to join her*

Billiard rooms...Balls?...Oh! Never mind...

*The door closes behind Caerwynn and Gwennie who can still be heard muttering to herself*

Do they keep glasses in here?

*Receives another blank look from Caerwynn, then produces a bottle of recently liberated from behind the bar and wafts it under Caerwynn's nose*

..*stretches like a cat awakening from a long nap...opens her eyes...*HEY! I can open my eyes!...*takes out note pad makes note to thank Euan for the de-gluey eye stuff...tosses off blanket...
looks around...*Did I get drunk and wake up in another Country? Again? Hey, wait a sec. I'm thirsty. How odd....*goes behind the bar...opens a fresh bottle of bourbon...
notices the thingie on the wall what's got all the dates on it...reads the post card from mari & Kes...looks back at the thingie with the dates on it...thinks...thinks some more...*
Looks like March came in like a lyin'......As in I was lyin' on the blue goo couch when March marched in!...*is pelted with empty ale mugs...*Yep, this is the right place!

*Sticks her head round the Ladies' door, grins at Pan, allows her arm to follow her head and lets it wave a bottle of in Pan's direction*

Pan me old fruit ! It's so wonderful to see you've joined the land of the living at last!

...*knocks over chairs and Pub goers in a dash for the...shoves the door to the ladies open knocking Gwennie onto the floor...grabs the bottle without spilling a drop...waves the bottle in front of Gwennie's face...*You're getting sleepy, very very sleepy.
...*gives Caer a wink and tops off her glass...*watch this
Gwennie, when you awaken you will think you are in a Pub somewhere in The Villa De La VaVoom.She's SO
gullable!

*Slips into dream sequence involving a deep bath of and nuzzling that very nice man called Aragorn from LotR film*



*Rolls over and passionately embraces Pan's calf before sinking her teeth in*

*appears from the darkest corner, looking shaggy and confused*

enters fromt he billiard room- =========~~~~

Why is Pan hopping around like the Easter bunny?

Pours herself a double G&T . That bunch in the billiards room is too even for me. I'm kind of thinking it would have been better if Thog had blasted them. We still have the body bags. I'd like to spare Jade, though. She's ok. ========~~~

Glad you're awake and can see, Pan. But that dance is a trifle weird. Gwennie appears to be enjoying her dream.

You appear to be on your last leg Pan