h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't do it, Euan! Cod forgive him.

Too late. She's got it now.

...*sits down...sniffs at the thing Euan has handed her...*
Thank you! What a gent! I can hardly wait to see your smilin' face again.
...*puts her head in her hands and covers her eyes with the damp cloth Euan has given her...waits...thinking of how she's gonna' get back at the "ladies" who did this to her...thinks...waits...drops the hammer she held behind her back onto the table...waits...*

*raises an eyebrow at the scene unfolding before her*

Just another normal day in the pub

Does that cloth smell a bit ey, Pan?

...*face still in hands & cloth...hits 1 on speed dial...*
What would you all like on your pizzas??...*holds up the phone...*
Just tell the nice man what you want & the pizzas will be delivered within 20 minutes or so....*feels the phone being gentely removed from her hand...waits...*

*Craxus still at the bar drinking some whiskey.*

Oi Craxus...

*walks over and sits on a barstool beside him*

Is the whiskey good, then?

Dulls the pain....

*Craxus jugs a few more drinks.*

What are we going to do if the gov't and hero's come?

...Throw expensive liquor at them, perhaps?

What's that Jade? And waste good ? I wouldn't let Linus or WR see you throw expensive liquor around...They'd have a fit

*Keeps a careful eye on Pan who looks as though she's still having trouble with her eyes, a mangy looking cloth and a mobile phone*

Err...Pan? Wotchadoin' girl?

Well if I pay for it (or will it into existance) I should think I could do whatever the I wish with it. I'm not likely to drink it anyway.

*decides to move the Pol Roger Cuvee Winston Churchill to a safe spot*

Feel free to hurl around the cheap like Moet, Mumm, Veuves Clicquot and Fournay, even the Krug and Bolly, but do leave dear old Winnie alone. That is my favourite

Winnie? I never realised that you were that discerning Caerwynn! So the bottle of meths sticking out of your bag must be your emergency supply?

*hastily stuffs the bottle back*

That Gwennie, is my facial toning lotion

And that would explain why I saw you gargling and brushing your teeth with it too Caerwynn?

It one of those new multi purpose two in one thingys

Phoo, that stuff gives you brain damage.

*Smashes brick with his forhead, then goes off to take part in a boxing match*

Hello Lennox, how ya doing mate?

Peers through window to see if it's safe to go back inside.

Well, everything seems ok..........Linus is staring at the ceiling, Craxus has passed out on the bar, Roadkill had a hugh knot on his head, Gwennie looks like she's plotting something, Pan's eyes are glued shut, Caer is hogging all the expensive booze, Myst is talking to his toes which is a little even for him, and we're not setting a good example for Jade and Euan. Yep. Everything's normal.

Walks up to the bar and loads up on and then goes back to her corner rocker and falls asleep.

staring at the ceiling indeed

I was merely sending thanks to whichever deity had the good sense to invent .