h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

::wanders about the alley aimlessly until he trips over Pandora, laying on the ground with her mouth open.... thinks about that for a moment... ... gets a truly evil idea... Heh heh heh... realizes that she'd kick his if he tried it... continues walking::




::...stops in midstride, turns about, goes over to stand over her again::

I say, Pan, did you realize that we finally got a tag?? I only ask 'cause o that vow you took, you know, to stay coated in toffee until we got one... I thought you might want to go wash that off about now, seein as how there's an army of about ten million ants marching to you -- they're just down the alley a bit...

::wanders back off::

*Shakes her head to dispel the ringing in her ears, removed several flyers from her person and tries to stand but finds her foot stuck underneath something soft and leathery*



WR I'm so sorry!

*Removes her foot from between the still stunned WR's legs before noticing the army of ants marching towards Pan's open filled mouth*

Pan! Get up!

*Stands astride Pan and tries with all her might to lever the offending from her mouth*

It's stuck fast! Oh

*Places one foot on Pan's forehead, the other on her chest and heaves with all her might*



Whoohoo!

*Frees the obstruction from Pan's mouth and flies back into the retreating Thog, squashing him beneath her substantial person and immediately into the path of the marching ants*

OOOOFFFFFF!!!! Hey, what the ??????

::looks around::

OH!!! Well, hiya Gwennie, you sexy thing, what's up? Errr... well, nevermind, don't bother answering that , but lord, woman, you only had to ask!! All these years, when we coulda been goin' at it like a couple of... hey, y'know, maybe this ain't the best place for this, tho, y'know, them ants are almost here, and they look a bit ed off... what say we go back to my dark corner and pursue this conversation over a bit of ??

Giff me bag the tree tousan dallar crowen phrom by frond footh!...*staggers over to the toffee apple stuck in Gwennie's hair and digs out her crown...*Oooo...lookie there...I do be lieve there's enough toffee left on this sucker ta' stick right back in place....*sticks crown on tooth...* There.Always a silver lining!...*rubs her forehead where Gwennie placed her gun boat...*
I'll be sooooo glad ta' see the new Pub! This place is a disaster zone! How does that keep happening?

Oh Tho-o-o-og? --->
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Decides to have a large Bells whisky to stop the ringing in his ears. With no sign of any hot water emerging from the hot tap, finally turns it off. The flames and smoke coming from the Hole subside*

Glug!

Ah! That's better ... now ...What are you all talking about? Did someone say their Aunt was coming to the Pub?

Oh Kes, you and your puns! At times you seem like a bit of a bird brain.<----LOOK!!! I used the winkie eye!AAAAAHH!!
...*runs to the Blue Goo couch and hides her face awaiting transportation into September's Pub...*

outta' practice...thasss all.

Almost September, Pan ...

*Mixes one last August bucket-o-tini, and places it next to the Blue Goo couch. As Pan does not emerge, he finds a length of plastic tubing, dips one end into the bucket, and passes the other end into the couch.*

*Smouldering sticky ruin... insect infested now too. Month after month, I love the consistancy at CP.

*Goes over to WR and gives him a whack with her cane.*

Are you ok??? I SAID ARE YOU OK???

...*Smells tinis...feels hose...checks to be certian it's a hose...checks to be sure it's a bucket-o-tinis...sticks thumb into the air...sucking noises are heard from the Blue Goo Couch...
...thinks... this is better than a tippy bottle filled with johnson's baby valium...*

*tries to construct a toffeecleaningdevice out of lego... proves impossible as they are sticky with toffee...*

That´s always the case, if you let children play with your legos...

...*flips E. the ...continues sucking up to her tinis...*

*sucks on a legobrick*

Hm... toffee - could get to be a sticky buisness...

The whole pub is in a bit of a mess, if you ask me.

*With a portentous THUNK the calendar turns a page.*

Time we moved to a new thread, I think ... I'd do it myself, but I got shouted at for making the new thread in Alabaster ..... anyone know a good spell for starting a new month?

You asked for it, honey! *Waves her cane in the air like a magic wand....* POOOF! http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F52920?thread=206350&post=2340769#p2340769

Well...


Here´s an alternative F52920?thread=206350&post=2340769#p2340769