h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

::snort::

Yeah, and some might say that tribbles are also bad for the chest....

Gwennie, I have discovered that american english is a whole different language than english english and/or aussie english. I am straining my memory to recall any reference to 'chopper' in the many british novels I have read. I have the vague idea that it means a police officer, but I might be mixing that with copper, or cop. In american english chopper also refers to a very large and noisy motorcycle. I didn't see one of those in Englander's mouth either. I won't tell you about yesterday's leftover spinach bits..

*Tries not to notice that Gwennie's boobs seem to be squirming around under her sweatshirt. *

Hi, you, Thog!!! *whacks Thog with her cane* Why don't you put some music on that jukebox, sonny? I feel a bad case of happy feet coming on!

*Begins tapping her toes!*

::walks over to the jukebox and beats it soundly with the butt of his tribble - launcher... it begins playing "Murda Was the Case" by Snoop Doggy Dogg... Thog is about to beat it again, but then stops, listens to the thumping walls, floor, and ceiling, and shrugs, joining mari - rae in a bout of rousing head - bobbing::

Yay!!!

*dances all around; skinny, old and bobbing her head... looking almost exactly like a chicken.*

Yay!!!

Yeah, but a gangsta chicken, anyway!!

Oh, and I concur with mari -- what sort of thing does 'chopper' mean over there? Over here in the US, it can mean a motorcycle or a helicopter, but that's about it... we're confused

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!!!

Ohh! I just love a chap with an enquiring...(What was it now?)...MIND! Yes! One of those mind things...

*Adjusts her tribbles with a business-like manner and drops a handful of peanuts down her the front of her sweatshirt to keep them from moving around*

And don't purr with your mouths full you two!

*Borrows Mari's walking stick/cane, pulls up a flip chart and points to the first of her colourful illustrations*

This, oh colonial types is an American Motorcycle that has been "chopped" (ie: it is no longer standard as bits have been chopped off and other bits added).

Whilst this...

*Flips the page to a child-like sketch of a helicopter*

Is also known as a chopper, even in the fair land of the Britons!

*Flips the page once again to a drawing of a British Policeman in a blue uniform and pointy hat*

Is a British Policeman, also know as a copper, filth, law or as Mari so correctly said, "copper".

*Lastly, flips the page to a colourful sketch of naked man and uses Mari's cane to point to his genitalia*

Now this chap's nether region has a variety of names, many of which I won't enter into here due to the flying moderators, but the long dangly thing that is attached to two spherical squishy things is what's commonly known as a "chopper" amongst us working class inhabitants of the British Isles. Don't ask me why, it's something I learned at school and don't you dare ask me how!

I also forgot to mention that the aforementioned male part is also commonly known here is the UK as a "trouser snake" or "knob" (and not the type one uses to open doors!).

These anatomy lessons dunnarf give one a thirst!

*Wanders off in search of refreshments, failing to notice that one of her "boobs" has climbed over her shoulder and settled between her shoulder blades*

*wonders if Mari-rae really NEEDS the explanation for a choppper, or if she´ll just climb on it and ride away.... oops... I think that´s the german meaning of a "chopper"...*

*spits out a bit of concrete...*

::sneeze::

*Opens one eye, and pretends he hadn't dozed off.*
I say! Isn't it April yet?

*Casually folds up Gwennie's chart and tucks it in under her knitting for future reference.*

Thank you for the detailed explanation, Gwennie. Buy you a ??

(tee reads: Buy me a and I'll ask you the question)

*Reads Kes's tee and feels really really nervous!

Brings Kes an ...*


Here you go, Kes.

*Swig ...gargle ...urrrrp!*
Thank you!
*Puts glass down, looks around conspiratorially, leans close to mari, and says ..........*

























...ppssssssttt wwhhhsssspp psssstt wssssspppt wssppttt ppsssstt ..

You want to do WHAT with chocolate sauce????????!!!

It's OK ... you just heat it up in the microwave for a few seconds first .......

ok

*Turns round to all the other inhabitants (who are pretending not to listen) and says ....*










Well ..... I could have suggested custard, but I didn't want to trifle with her!

*Sips her so kindly donated by Mari and fishes out with disdain the lump of concrete that E recently spat out*

If you trifle with our Mari Kes, you just might find her deserting you...

*Whispers to Mari*

Psst! So what exactly "did" the old geezer want to do with chocolate sauce?

::thinks of chocolate milk::