h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

HELLO OVER THERE .....

Nope not acceptable. You are guilty of aiding and abetting the cats and you are a legitimate target. You are beggining to appreciate the consequences of your actions which is good for you - you will appreciate this lesson in the long term and will ultimately be a betTer person for it. All at no extra charge from the ACF.

Your defence has cost the lives of good Dog soldiers both here and in the Library - I do not see any Muse casualties apart from the Sgt minor scratch and being 4th on the ACF `s most wanted list does mean an element of risk you know.

You have your hostages back now do the decent thing - you know it is right considering your intervention in the conflict. Simply stopping does not compensate us for the damage you caused to us to date. We expect reparations and an equal show of good faith.

Oh and I like my SSQUEEEEEELLLLKKKKKKKKSSSSSS loudspeaker very much as it is it has character ..... kkkkkkksssssshhh sskkwaaaaaaarrkkk .... bugg*r.

~over and out~

You can have all the cheesecake you want, you know... In fact, I have given your troops generous amounts of cheesecake as well as chocolate milk.

My lesson did not have to be learned in this way. It was wrong to involve the Musehome in the first place. Not only are you rather foolish to invade this property, but you are even MORE foolish to have aroused my anger by your actions.

Admit that you have been wrong to bring your forces upon the Musehome-- don't speak a word more about how this is "in the name of war". I have recently received news of how your overthrew the h2g2 Waterworks. Most unkind. War is ugly.

Yes, I'm your mother and all that. But you have certainly NOT given me the slightest bit of respect until now. Continue to place blame and guilt upon me, but I did not directly do harm to you.

You'll notice that my first donations to the Cathouse did not include ammo. It was when you placed me on your Most Wanted list that I decided to give the Cats more power.

You've acted with much too much haste, and have soiled your title as a muse by doing so. This has all resulted in the ACF casualities I had little choice in causing.

The only good is a !

Don`t care how angry you are.

*throws hand grenade*

Don`t agree with anything you`ve said

*sends mortar round over to Dragonflys position*

I`ll not discuss the Waterworks thing ..... attracted more postings there than it had seen in months by the way. If you research properly you`ll find that the Cats invaded part of the Waterworks as well. Nuff said.

You willingly joined the conflict and are therefore culpable. Sooner or later you'll work out that we're not going away that easily

Oh and respect has to be earnt by the way .... didn`t your mother tell you that

HAND GRENADE!???

::Kamakazie Greek Soldiers dog pile the hand grenade, which explodes and makes an icky mess inside the Musehome, shaking the foundation::

Those were good soldiers, too...

*Prepares Musehome's secret weapon - Dewey the *

Ok Dewey, when I let you out there I want you to imagine that all of those soldiers are the from down the street that you're always fighting with... you know, the one that you always turn into a furry, bloody mess each time you tangle with it.

*Rubs Dewey's shoulders the way that coaches do to boxers just before a fight*

*looks at Dewey nervously*

Shoo.

*checks h2g2 rulebook and notes that cats spit and spitting is not allowed. Dewey disappears in a puff of logic*

Ha !

I never saw that cat spit!!!

::Dewey Two-ey, Dewey Three-ey, and Dewey Four-ey appear in a puff of logic, spit-free but as mean as spit-fire!!!!::

I'll set Cleo on him

Hey, where is she?

*Dewey re-appears*
Just because he isn't spitting... yet, doesn't mean that you're not in big trouble matey boy. He's simply biding his time, waiting for me to utter the word which will turn him into a whirring ball of teeth and claws, a bit like the Tasmanian Devil, but much more destructive.
*Whispers the magic word in Dewey's ear, Dewey's eyes suddenly glow red, inch-long claws spring out from his feet, and razor sharp teeth are bared*
Dewey..... KILL!!!

THIS MEANS WAR!!!

::snaps her fingers and she reappears instantly in camo-toga garb, as do her fellow muses(which don't include Uncle Heavy and Red Dog, who will be ripped of their Museships for their offenses to the Musehome: sorry, UH, but you HURT YOUR SISTER!!! Unforgiveable!!!)::

::The Greek soldiers move in closer and clank the end of their spears to the ground simultaneously::

::D walks up to Red Dog and whacks him on the nose with a copy of the POST, since dogs HATE that::

You've been very very bad, and it's time to stick your nose in the poop you've made in the Musehome!!!

*Dashes in in full CHOPPERS Super-Hero mode (Hope they don't realize I'm a lowly initiate), armed with his psychic powers, his theme music, and, of course, a rather largish looking rifle with a rotating barrel attachement so that it can accomodate several kinds of ammunition*



Attention Members of the ACF! Attention Members of the ACF! You have violated H2G2 law, and it is my duty as a member of CHOPPERS to stop that sort of thing! Now, play nicely, or else I'm gonna haffa open up a can of Belgium!



*Fires a warning shot over the invading ACF forces, which hangs above them in a cloud, and settles on them. Pure Catnip! Every cat in the neighborhood will be on them in three posts time!*

*E, T, EaE and E-Lizzy come in on the LEGO-Sphinxomobil...*

*The titletrack of "Muse Trek" can be heard in the background*

E: MUSES! We´re here to build the LEGO-Bunker for muses, Which will be fulled by choclatemilk and cheesecake on a basis of 1000 days siege (oops, I think I´m offering the wrong information for the enemy...*

EaE: YEAH, you Blockhead! *Starts unpacking the LEGO-Digger (from the Rockraiderseries) and starts digging*

*E-Lizzy goes to D*

T: I remämber sät we nied ä strätägie, thät will help us get ridd of thoz dogs!!! I sink, I vill tray a WW I strätägie, änd build a tränch around se Musehome... D, wot we Tschörmens were alwäys gut ät is the "Wiederaufbau" änd se "Wiedervereinigung". We vill glädly help wenn se war is over!

*Dewey suddenly stops ripping the heads off ACF soldiers and realises that there's catnip around. He is whipped up into a frenzy by the smell of it (as if he wasn't already in one ) and mows down all in his way to get to the ambrosia*

The Catnip is /on/ the ACF!

E-Lizzy back

Sorry, T, but it's rather hard to understand you!!! Can you just throw lego bricks at the ACF if they start anything!??

::salutes to Englander::

YAY!!! LEGOS!!!

And Arlechinno, it is wonderful to have your presence here. I do hope we will not have to see you open up a can of Belgium!!!

Now, Red Dog, don't you think this is a good time to surrender to the Musehome and our affiliates!??

::asks E-Lizzy if she has seen Cleo, Sgt's cat::

E-Lizzy: Oh, no, dear, I have NO idea where cleo went! Oh, I do hope cleo won´t get hurt. It´s such a LOVELY cat, isn´t it? OH, My, D, you´re camo-toga looks already realy bad! *prods a little here and there* Now that´s better. Don´t want the enemy to think we´re letting our standards drop, do we...

** Flies in, carrying a load of towels **
You know, the doghouse has been deserted for a number of days, since they started their attacks.
As PS of Lost Towels, I declared all towels used for sleeping and other uses I found their as lost, and took them for their comfort.

According to their own laws, they are mine now. They will be cleaned to rid them of the dog-stink and maybe given to SATS, as they seem to be in need of towels.

Come doggies come, WALK, WALK, WALK???!!