h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*CYBERHUMAN looks at the armour*

This will certainly be more effective than fish scales. Very good, Mala! At least one of your people is trying to understand the gravity of the situation!

Now to find more of the same... and I'll polish it really well, too, lasers should just reflect!

*arranges mirror skin onto armour*

*CYBERHUMAN speaks*

Haven't you forgotten your physics Mala? The metal will absorb the laser, not reflect it.

Not neccessarily! Depends on whether they're using lasers (which would cut the armour) or "stun rays", which would just be reflected.

*CYBERHUMAN suddenly has a brainwave, and exclaims*

I'VE GOT IT!

Sounds good...

*CYBERHUMAN s Mala happily*

You're brilliant you are! You've just given me an idea how we can defeat these robots with mimimum casualties!

Sounds even better!

I am?

Why yes, of course I am!

*CYBERHUMAN talks quickly in his excitement*

The robots won't be expecting a two-pronged attack. If I lead several units of soldiers in an attack on the right flank, then Mala can lead several units of soldiers in an attack on the robots' left flank. If we attack from both sides, the robots will have no choice but to obey their programming of "survival above all else" and will start to make mistakes. We create a logical dilemma for them.

Yes, it is illogical, since we are so few. Now for the sneaking problem - will they be scanning for us, or can we use "foxholes"?

*CYBERHUMAN speaks*

Don't worry about their scanners, Mala. I can take care of them.

OK, so why don't we dig in where they'll be passing? We'll be close behind them to attack then!

*CYBERHUMAN considers for a moment, then says*

We won't dig ourselves in, or attack from behind. A frontal charge will work better I think.

OK, if you say so - do we wait until they're past the gate? It's quite cold outside, so i'll set up big pans of boiling water, the sudden condensation will cloud their sensors.

*CYBERHUMAN returns to the room carrying a long metal rod with a mini radar dish on top*

I have a better device!

*He sets up the object in the centre of the room facing the main entrance and switches it on. A high-pitched electronic bleeping sound emerges and the radar dish turns from side to side*

OK, will the water affect it? Else I'll leave them as a backup.

*CYBERHUMAN turns to her as the machine continues bleeping*

This device is sending out a jamming signal that will confuse their sensor readings. It should last long enough to last the whole battle. Leave the water as backup. We could always shortcircuit the odd robot here and there.