h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

GUEST ENTRANCE:

Next to the waterfall, behind a curtain of ivy, a secret doorway leads to a spiral staircase which is carved into the rock. In small niches along the way upstairs, candles are lit to bring a little light to the cool darkness. As you finally reach the top you step out into blinding sunlight and when your eyes finally get used to it, you see a plateau with a beautiful meadow. A little river is hurrying across it and disappears in a mist down the cliff.
In the middle of the meadow, all by itself stands an old arch and as you walk through it, you suddenly stand in a foyer, with a thick red carpet on the floor, in front of you a huge door leads into the pavilion.


STAGE ENTRANCE: (Caution-slippery when wet; bring your own umbrella)

A second way is hidden behind the waterfall; on the wooden door and the surrounding rock, moss is growing, glittering of the many drops of water which spread in from the waterfall.
You knock at the door and with a creaking noise it opens a bit. A face full of scars looks through the slightly open door. After a close look Igor finally opens the door and leads you in. You enter a long corridor with an old red carped floor and sconces, which already loose their gold paint.
Lots of doors are on every side of the way, behind some you hear different musical instruments being tuned. Others have signs saying for instance "Cloakroom", "Ladies" or "Dungeon" or the names of musicians. Igor disappears behind a door with the sign saying "Administration".
You walk up a staircase at the end of the corridor and follow arrows which direct you to the stage. On your way you pass other tunnels and corridors, some dark, some illuminated by candles.
Then, at the top of the staircase you finally find a door with the sign "Stage" on it.


You enter the actual pavilion, which seems to be part of the meadow outside, but the grass is growing in steps and is this way creating an amphitheatre. The stage, made of rock, is directly at the cliff.
The whole amphitheatre is surrounded by huge Gothic arches, which carry a high roof with the typical ribs. Where the arches touch the roof, stone beasts are looking down at the audience and if you watch them out of the corner of your eye, they seem to move or talk to each other, but when you move your head too watch them, they are as motionless as ever.

Welcome to the P-Space Omnitorium - an all-purpose venue for entertainment, enlightenment, and general fooling around on stage!

Enter the first fool!
*gazes around in awed admiration*

did you see the new signs on the stage entrance?

Excellent!

Where's that didgeridoo? I want to play a duet on my didgeridont.

Not yet, I came in the main entrance. Do I get to pick a dressing room of my very own with a cheap-looking gold star on the door?

of course, everyone will have one

I'd like this one here, at the end of the long windy passage with the tiny hole in the cliff overlloking the top of the waterfall - I may get to watch some very surprised ducks!

WOW!

Good choice Mala!

You like it benjahv?

yes its...very inspirational *starts tinkling on his banjo*

Can we have a BS-Johnson-style organ in here too? We can make the pig pipes out of the cliff itself! *s off to get grandfather's notes on organ building*

Great idea!

To which I say, 'Ook'! s are good organists!

And there is no problem with the claws?

That's just extra percussion - and a should have a great reach!

True, true...and, since I have a prehensile tail, I can reach all the stops!

So we need to start drilling, or can we magic the pipes into the rock? And no squashed toad noise stops!

*still tinkles on banjo*

Can't the EG do anything about the rock?

I can it into shape, if you tell me what you want.

Okay, no squashed toads. But how about 'cat with tail under rocking chair'?