h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

of course there are. there are just lots of them!

*CYBERHUMAN sighs*

Have you forgotten that I went on a tour around this HQ long before the battle started? I explored every room in this place and I told you what most of the rooms were! It was never just a single room!

*Walks off shaking his head pityingly and starts chatting to a badly injured trooper*

*glares after him, everything suddenly becoming clear*

And yet, the Pond station has three rooms and a small cellar - who are you really and why have you brought us to this parallel universe to do your dirty work? Run out of people of your own to slaughter, have you?

Where do all these people come from anyhow? I'm sure that the EG didn't create them!

Yes! And look - look out at the cliff - ours is round and weathered, this one has a jagged peak where the Omnitorium should be!

*looks*

Yes, that's true!

And the trees - look, the same types of trees are there, but the shapes are different! And they're all in slightly different spots...

*CYBERHUMAN sighs deeply*

I've brought you nowhere Mala, you brought me here, remember? I'm only a guest here and I came at your invitation when you changed the thread that this battle would take place in. As for bringing you here because I've run out of people to slaughter, that's nonsense. My circuits have been designed so that I do not kill except in self-defence. I'm not an executioner Mala, I'm an explorer. I travel around the galaxy visiting one planet after the next, living among its' inhabitants as an honoured guest, sampling some of their culture, trying to blend in as best as I can, collecting information and even a few souvenirs for my database of galactic information. Then I move on to the next planet and start afresh, and shall continue to do so throughout eternity until my database is complete. I do not kill. I study and observe. I even ask questions from time to time to deepen my knowledge. But I do not kill unless my survival is threatened.

So then, mighty explorer, tell us where we are, this certainly aint Kansas! When I called the meeting, we wer up against a dozen enemies and there were six of us. And now just look at all this! If *you're* not using us, who is?

*CYBERHUMAN shrugs his shoulders*

I only know as much as you do Mala. According to my scanners this is Gefropo HQ and we're on the outskirts of a gigantic forest that surrounds us on all sides. I don't know who, if anyone, is using us so I can't help you there I'm afraid.

Well then, I think it's a priority to find out!

*CYBERHUMAN comes over to her*

Our first priority is to get ourselves back on our feet and fighting fit. If there is an even more powerful enemy out there, then we need time to regain our strength, take care of our wounded soldiers, repair the damage that was inflicted to the main entrance, get some food and water into our troops' stomachs, and most importantly, let them have a few hours sleep. The enemy won't make their next move for a while, now that they know that 5000 robots and a powerful humanoid creature can't stop us. They'll need time to assess the situation and rethink their plan of attack.

more? You think there's more out there? When we were wandering around the forest, you detected under a dozen - now will you believe me that we're elsewhere? You talk of getting our men seen to, but don't you understand? They're. Not. Our. Men! I think our best move is to get out of here as fast as humanly possible.

*CYBERHUMAN looks shocked*

And leave them here to die? Mala, the robots have followed us! And not just six of them either, but an entire invasion force of several thousand robots!

That's why we need to get out of here! The robots are attacking us, not them. If we go, they'll at least be left in peace!

*CYBERHUMAN rolls his eyes*

Face it, Mala. The second we gathered our troops at this HQ, those robots classed them as their enemies as well. Now the whole HQ is waging war against those robots. It's all of us against all of them.

Prove it. If I can save all of them by goign off alone, isn'T that a good deal?

*CYBERHUMAN is speechless*

Save all of them by going off alone! Mala, that's terrible! You'd be signing the death warrants for every single person in this building, as there's no way they can stand against the robots without our leadership and knowledge of the enemy! I'm telling you Mala, if we disappear, those robots will attack this HQ and kill every last person in here before coming to find us.

If you're sure, you're sure - but I'd prefer a different way. Can we fit everyone in your ship?

*CYBERHUMAN thinks for a second*

Not really I'm afraid.