h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* M.K beats a path to this abandoned temple & looks on with dread... *

*shaking her head at eats' departure, Tweet sees MK's back*
*walks up to him, and touches him on the shoulder*
*smiles in amusement as MK jumps*
*The smile fades from her face as she looks past him*
What the...

* Suddenly, from behind the mysterious man, several other men appear, ...men in black and blue and grey. Wearing ties, elegant ties.

* Their facial expressions are identical. But they are not clones.

* No, no, not at all. They are part of a very strange sect called, "Nine to Fivers" and they sacrifice everything to this strange cult...

* Peaceful Lemur is right behind Tweetie... She pushes her away, quickly, before they can catch up...

Run, Tweetie!!! Run as fast as you can!!! These guys seem dangerous!!!

Think we'd better warn Dan about this!!!

They run! The elegant men keep on walking, they seemed very busy with the sacrifice they're presently engaged upon...

*Green light*
*Unable to see the sacrifice clearly WJ moves closer*
*Suddenly one of the men siezes WJ and carries him into the middle of the group where a big pot stands*
*The pot is made out of desk-tidies*
*Green light*
Sadly one of the others may not be so lucky.

*Tweetie stands, struggling against her intrinsic urge to work*
*A workaholic, alone and faced with others of her kind, knowing she has to get away*
*The internal battle rages on*
*She takes a step forward, almost lured by the huge pile of work in an in box, and a phone that rings endlessly, screaming to be picked up*
*Then she sees the looks on their faces*
*Dead eyes, hopeless, mindless smiles- the heart-rending sound of someone whistling in their work*
*Gathering her strength, she extends a hand, and surrounds them in a powerful enclosure*
*Without a backward glance, she turns. And runs*

* M.K finally realises these unfortunate souls are the lost party of civil servants who were brought here for an adventure weekend for a little expensive corporate 'team bonding', unforunately when their boat was lost at sea they had to do a liitle more than a civil servant could comfortably be able to do... and they went feral !!! *

* Despite some rudimentry training in the survival arts, they automatically fell back into dark, beaucratic ways... *

* One of them looms over M.K holding a sharpened fountain pen... *

Look !!! I'm sure we have a small run-about around so you can return to the mainland !!!

* They start to encircle M.K, much to his terror... *

* Another produces a filofax attempting to 'delegate' w*rk to the hapless M.K *

Look, Look !!! I'm sure you can be adequately re-intergrated back into polite society. I understand the truly gormless are the 'in' thing these days !!!

* The largest one reaches into his pocket and proceeds to speak into the handset saying... *

WE MAY NEED TO DOWNSIZE OUR ISLAND DIVISION !!!

* M.K eyes widen & in a last ditch effort not to be indoctrinated into civil 'servitude' !!! *

Look, please ! I'm sure we can work this out !!!

* ...with that, the group starts to chant... *

WORK ! WORK ! WORK ! WORK !!!

* M.K although not the brightest of GOD's creatures knows a good thing when he's on to it... *

YES ! Just follow me to the Jetty & I'm sure we can find some WORK ! for you to do !!!

* They follow him like Zombies to the Jetty... *

M.K*

*Having recieved a warning two days ago, but only acting upon it now (It was the weekend, okay? ), Dan makes his way through the forest, his senses bringing him to the temple.*

*He looks around at the recently abandoned temple and investigates. He raises his head into the air, having caught a whiff of an awful, bitter scent. The scent of...*

WORK!!!

*Driven into a religious frenzy from the taint of this temple, he follows the beaten path left by the civil servants.*

*flutter of wings
Hello?
Anyone here seen the Crab? You know, the one who recites poetry?
Or Tweetie?
Please?
Er......where IS everybody?
*flutter of wings

*Kiddo shouts into the forest*

TWEEETIEE! YOU IN THERE!?

* Kiddo notices blood trickling down the temple stairs... *

*Dan returns to the temple, intent on finish the task his religion demands of him. He notices a rather stunned Kiddo, and a stream of blood.*

*He proceeds cautiously up the stairs, leaving Kiddo on his own.*

Kiddo is at Hidden Beach, er, looking for something

Hmmm...this forest is full of strange illusions.

Where?
I don't see any strange illusions!

Why not ask Kiddo, who was standing there a second ago?

Kiddo? I didn't see Kiddo here! He's at the Hidden Beach {or he SHOULD be, by now!}

*leaving Galaxy Babe with the ILLUSIONARY Kiddo, Dan continues his trek up the stairs.*

Whoever created that illusion sure put a lot of w*rk into it. I think it's time I put an end to it...

* BED gradually creeps up the ancient steps, his heart pounds away looking at the ancient reliefs on the walls depicting every kind of barbaric act, I dare say even some of the squeamish of barbarians would go running home to mommy about... *

* He looks further into the inky blackness of the temple, his heart beats faster than a male swallows wings when a pretty female one darts on by... *

* A large stone snake peers through the darkness looming well over BEDs head. The room is illuminated as a few stray shards of light fall upon the gigantic rubies the snake has for eyes. BED starts to physically shake as he sees the blood flowing down from a chalice on the altar... *

* His body says 'let's get the hell out of here !!!', his mind says '????'. Just then, his body assumes control just like when he meets a pretty girl, for entirely different reasons... *

* His heel spins a full 180 degrees and he tries to start his 'roadrunner' routine, when he slips on the 'blood' & falls helplessly to the ground, banging his head and falling unconscious beside a large glass bottle of Tomato sauce... *

M.K*

*lays unconscious on the floor*

(What, you were expecting a large, MK style post to explain that?)