h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Marshall walks in, spies the unconscious BED, looks around and says
"What a mess! I hope we're not expected to clean all this lot up, tomorrow!"

*Dan slowly returns to a conscious state. The blow to his head has left him with no memory of his identity, or what he might be doing in the jungle.*

*He looks around, only to see a man in a tattered but well-worn business suit, and a bottle of tomato sauce from his power lunch.*

*Confused, he follows the inviting man up the stairs, being welcomed into his new tribe.*

* Part of one of PE's dreams... she definitely is not here...

* She is very concerned about Dan. This should NEVER happen to him.
She sheds another tear.

* The dream leads on in other directions.

* Another shiver from PE, she almost got hit by a simulpost at the hidden beach, and had escaped in the nick of time...

*Coming up the hillside from Hidden Beach, Kes and Peaceful work through the forest, following the narrow paths, glancing around the small clearings*
I think we're somewhere near the Temple now. Do you recognise where we are, Peaceful?

* Shiver. Shiver. Shiver...

Yes, I do, Kes... this is the temple.

The bloody temple...

The place where Tweetie was almost captured...

The place where all those zombies were. Elegant zombies, but still...
Tweetie told me about the empty looks in their eyes...

And I dreamt that Dan...

Alright. (Though it certainly isn't). Alright. Stop shaking.
*A non-amorous cuddle seems to be in order*
Before we go further ...
If something goes wrong in there, you know - if we get split up, or if I don't .. you know..
If time runs out before we get back together ...
I want you to know something.
*Peaceful looks at Kes*
Oh. You know already, don't you?

Yes, Kes, I do know that... and I hope that... by now...

I think we'd better get on with this...

It will take a lot of courage. I feel it. There's danger inside that temple.

Danger of the worst sort. Dangerous danger. Terribly... you understand...

Let's go, Kes, not much time...

Think Dan's in trouble...

Right. We'll work our way round this big entrance square - if we go across the middle, we'd be seen too easily.
Look for any trace of Dan, or other signs of life. Stay close ... here we go

* Kes!

* The darkened temple stairs... the path...

* Breathlessly searching for poor Dan... who should be in BED and not w*rking like this!!!

* It's a horror story...

* She continues, ... it feels like a dream... no, another nightmare.

[boring!]

You shivered! Did you see something?

I thought I heard a zombie singing...

no... that was a whisper...

* Shiver. Shiver. no time for this now!!!

Kes! That whisper was ominous [however you spell it, no matter, I'm saying it]... it sounded as if ... I think it was DAN!!!

*They enter the first chamber. Flickering torches cast an eerie light.
Walls and floor are splattered with .... well, Kes and PE would very much like to believe it was all ketchup, but there are two very different shades of red...*

* PE walks along, but her mind is blanking out...

* She turns on the automatic button...

Yes, it did sound like Dan ... only not quite like Dan.
Peaceful - apart from earlier, in the cave - I've never asked you to do anything, but ..
This is not a safe place. If we both vanish, nobody will know where we are, nobody will come to help Dan.
It's time for you to go back - no - don't argue. Go back - outside the temple, to the forest clearing - or go back to the Beach, if you feel safer. Make sure somebody knows what's happening.

When I come out - yes, when, not if - I will come to the clearing, then go down to the beach.
Please - it will be better.
*He grabs her, holds her for a few moments, long enough for a kiss, long enough for that funny fluttering feeling behind the eyes ... and releases*
Go on - see you on the other side.

*Kes watches PE go, waves her away, and feels better knowing that is is not in immediate danger. The better feeling lasts about 5 seconds, after which it is replaced by an accurate assessment of the current situation. He considers the option of running back outside screaming something unintelligible, and continuing to run across the sea ..... but decides not too - partly because he's too scared to move at all.

OK - check inventory:
dried fish (at least that's coming to an end soon - then again, it kept us alive - I must thank the organisers sometime)
knife
bent golden spoon
about 18" of speaker wire
... what's this? - ah yes, the WAPphone - almost forgot.

Now - what can I do to put off going further into the temple?
I know ....
*He switches the phone on, and hits Last Called Number ....
Ring ring .....
Time passes*

GB follows the trail left by Kes & Peaceful...
when she reaches the steps to the temple, she shudders,
Thinks: This is a BAD place!
*starts to climb steps, flexing her wings at the same time, in case a swift getaway is required!

*The WAPphone crackles into silence. Kes discovers another law of physics - Pressing the buttons harder does not make them work better.*
Hope I got through.
Hope GB's recovered.
Hope I get out of this

Gulp

Hope that's not approaching footsteps I can hear ...

*sound of footsteps*

how on earth did you find your way here guys? why? and that's not w*rk I see before me is it??

GB spots the figure in front of her in the gloom, almost instantly recognizing him.
KES!
She stars to run, her arms outstretched.
Kes turns around in astonishment.
The WAP phone drops to the ground and shatters as he opens his arms,
a huge grin on his face, he holds the Angel close to his fast-beating heart.
He smooths her hair as she momentarily lays her head on his shoulder.
"GB....I
"Kes...I
They both start to talk together, then laugh.
"You first!"
"No, you!"