h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*cough* sorry to split this little get together... but there really is something we need to deal with here....

Phew! So you're OK now? Any nasty after effects?
Did I do the right thing? I didn't know - I just, sort of, guessed.
Ah!
*Thinks about the propriety of the situation, and disengages. Brushes a feather off his shoulder*

Thank you ladies - thank you so much. Please don't be offended if I say I'm glad you're a little bit like buses: you need one, you wait for ages, then two come along together.
We need a plan of action. Any suggestions?

FC?
What are you doing here?
Didn't you leave with M.K*?

Ladies - sorry to be a party pooper, but could we sort out the domestic arrangement later? I don't know if you'd noticed, but a draught has just started to blow from down that corridor.
*By way of punctuation, the torches in the chamber flicker faster*

you've got the effects down to a T Kes...

and I just came along to help GB... Gonna fly off to the boat after...

Right - so I came to help Dan, and GB came to help me, and you came to help GB ....
What do you mean fly off?
What boat?
What do you mean "after"?
After WHAT?

*wonders how much she should tell her guardee... feels slightly guilty*

erm.. nothing. absolutely nothing. you must have mis-heard me...

now i think there is a crisis we need to prevent happening...

*a dark shadow looms closer*

OK - I trust you completely - unlike some on the island I could mention.
Now about this looming dark shadow. We have some fairly straightforward choices to make. Please tick one box only. We can:

A) Face the unknown danger together, come what may

B) Hide under the stone bench over there

C) Run like hell for the exit.

Lady gets to choose? ... but quickly, mon ange.

*feels even guiltier....*

*ponders too long to make the hiding behind a stone option viable... and if they were to run then whatever it was would only chase them... besides they have a duty to BED...

GULP

we have to face it... we owe it to Dan...

OK. Cover is slightly safer than point.
You guard my back, I'll stand just beside the corridor to tackle what comes out.
*Pulls out hunting knife, which now looks smaller and blunter than it ever did before*
You don't happen to have an M16 handy do you, Angel?

*rumages through bag... * blusher, mascara, lipstick.... who's bag is this???

it might be time for me to bring this out *produces small stick from her pocket* be careful with it Kes, it only works once. *gingerly hands it over to Kes*

Thanks, Angel. What the?
*It looked at first like a lipstick, but rather too large. One end open (I'll point that awy from me) .... and a button near the other end*
Angel ... the instruction book , perhaps ...
*The approaching dark shadow is now accompanied by a feeling of intense cold. One by one, the torches in the chamber start to gutter and extinguish ...*
Thanks for sticking around, but if you want to make a run for it ..?

and abandon my Guardee? I dont think so somehow...

*stands behind Kes protecting him from anything coming behind him...

*Kes ponders - out of all the people he met on the island, all have helped him in their way.
He had been able to repay most of them for their friendship.
To some, he had returned love,
to others, had turned lust into friendship.
Some he'd been able to protect, others to assist.
For the rest .. he'd made the treasure available to them.

The lady protecting his back was the exception.
They hadn't met often on the island.
He hadn't asked anything form her, so he hadn't needed to repay.

Now, when he had nothing he could offer, she refused to abandon him.
It just wasn't fair ... on her.
Time began to move very slowly, sand grains falling through the hourglass as if set in treacle.
He had an idea*

Angel? I think we should move towards the exit. You lead, I'll back off and follow. Tell me when you get to the door

I'm right behind you, too, Kes!
{huddling close to FC}

Angel? Is your memory good? I hope so.
Start the tapes - just memorise - don't listen.
Play it back later - to the others as well.
Ready? We must be close to the door now ...

OK?

It is not a garment that I cast off this day, but a skin I tear with my own hands.
Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst.
I would take with me all that is here, but how shall I?
Ready am I to go, with sails full set, awaiting the wind.
Only another breath will I cast in this still air, only another loving look cast backward.

It was but yesterday we met in a dream.
You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.
But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.

Got that? You'll know who it's for - mostly for all of you.

*The last torch is flickering*
Good - you're at the door. Hang on just a momnet ...

*makes a creep towards the door... turns back to Kes...*

right. I got there.. come on... we can get out...

KES? Nooo..... you can still make it.... *is completely torn up inside... a tear falls down her cheek....* Nooooo.....

OK - time to make a run for it. Thank you for sticking around, ladies. You've earned your wings looking after this one.
We go on three, right?
One

Two

*Holds his left hand over his shoulder*

Ladies - doesn't matter which - take the rings. I probably shouldn't have them, Ouch! thanks - and I'm not going to need them where I'm going.

Three!

*Kes runs suddenly two paces backwrds, thus pushing the two angels out of the door, they trip on the top step, and roll, unhurt into the courtyard.

Ave, imperatrix! Nos morituri te salutamus.

Yaaaaaaah!
*He runs straight into the corridor, and presses the button on the stick*