h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Haiku Girl readies her Syllabic Shield and draws her Blade of Brevity. She counts very loudly as she faces sea.

1 2 3 4 5
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
1 2 3 4 5

A concerned glance at PW, but once she sees her mentor move, she realises that there's no real danger.

"Do your worst, oh sea
You evil STUMPED cannot
Defeat her and me"

Who needs grammar when you've got haiku, right?

[sea] who needs haiku when you've got balls of lightning?

*sea throws one at haiku girl, then quickly- before HG can respond- she zaps the rope tied around NYC's ankles. it breaks and he falls to the ground on his back. sea then turns back to HG*

Poetry Woman grins at Haiku Girl

"Well done, Haiku Girl, that one even rhymed!"

She's recovered enough now to react to something, but WHAT?!? There's sea throwing lightning at HG, and even though she can take care of herself, still it's PW's SIDEKICK.

And then there's sea helping NYC escape (but she was getting bored with the blue paint anyway, and was about to pick another colour, and anyway, it's about time he got away....)

She makes her decision, throws the shield of Dissonance to deflect the lightning from Haiku Girl, and it actually ends up hitting the rope that bound NYC (AFTER he's already been released), whereupon it falls down near him, rather useless really.

"Are you OK, Haiku Girl?"

Giguschild reappears in the forum after a long absence. He is once again wearing a suit, but this is a nice new one with pinstripes. He also has a long scabbard at his side. He lands in front of sea, between her and the rest of CHOPPERS.

He draws.

It's a beautiful Ichimonji Daisho Katana, oil-tempered wootz steel, with oscillating utsuri and choji forming a complicated dragon along the blade. The surface is purest black, with glistening nioi-deki giving it an illusion of depth. The ha is finest orchid folded molybdeum-laced steel; it's silvery grain flashes in the light. It is beautiful. It lives.

[GS] Nobody makes ssscathing comments to my compatriots, and gets away with sssame number of vital organs. Draw.

He performs a complicated flourish, ending with the sword upright in front of his eyeless face. He whips it to the side in a salute.

[Finally regaining the power of speech]
[Croaks from beneath the desk:]
Can anyone turn me back into a human being, if it's not too much to ask?
Oh and... pass me my clothes before you do.

AHA!!I'm here!The amazing reasonably powerful guy!Who's the baddie,and I'll make 'em horizontal!

[Reposts, Colin Mockery-style:]
Thank God you're here, Reasonably Powerful Man!

[points a finger at Sea]
That's the evil one there! The reason I'm a frog!! [dark mutterings]

lol. i had forgotten about that. sorry!

*the froggy spell wears off*

*sea faces gigus and mocks him*

[sea] hmm. a big metal thing. how unimpressive.

*sea reaches into her pocket for a weapon. gigus waits expectantly. sea glances up at him, and kicks him viciously in the shin (or the xenomorph equivalent. either way, it hurts). she then does a backflip out of his reach and pulls her double-bladed lightsaber out of her pocket. she kisses it and turns it on*

[sea] *to lightsaber* it's been too long, sweetie... *to gigus* bring it on, little alien.

*sea twirls her lightsaber expertly*

ow! owowowow...

*NYC gets up and immediately flips out an uzi with HV rounds (y'all forgot to disarm me...), and starts blasting Haiku Girl*

YAAAAAA! *ratatatatatatatatatatatat...*

*NYC pauses just enough to realize he's barefoot, and that his feet are green*

*sea glances at NYC, smiles, then turns her attention back to giguschild*

Poetry Woman jumps to Haiku Girl's side, and together they fend off the bullets from the uzi, using the forcefield of Literary Taste, and some rather nifty martial arts moves involving the Sword of Brevity, the Syllabic Shield and, of course, the shield of dissonance.

Then Poetry Woman angles the Shield of Dissonance so the bullets are reflected back, and head right TOWARDS NYC!

*NYC gets blown against the wall, and crumples to the floor. before he blacks out, he flips open a radio control from his coat's inner lining, and presses the shiny red button on it. a deep buzzing from the vents can be heard*

*sea hears the buzzing as she and giguschild continue their staring contest, each trying to psych the other out. sea glances over to see NYC crumpled on the floor, and the literary dorks congratulating each other. sea wonders what the buzzing is, how two little girls managed to easily incapacitate NYC, and whether or not the xenomorph would be so kind as to not attack her for a while and allow her enough time to heal NYC. sea shakes her head and swings her lightsaber at gigus*

*NYC reminds himself to wear kevlar next time. the buzzing stops, and gas starts spouting through the vents*

Poetry Woman peers at the gas, grabs a handkerchief, holds it in front of her nose and says "RUN!!!" and with that, she makes for the door, grabbing at Haiku Girl on the way.

Hey *waves* I am also known to friends and sometimes even hostile strangers (particularly those with hairy, flaring nostrils) as Tangent Girl. Superpowers A)Uber slacker and B)Did you know that if you hit Marmite with a spoon it goes white? (tangents). I have been looking for somewhere to lay my proverbial and feel that my pacifistic methods of confusion and disarmament may find a better home with you guys.. This decision has been in no way influenced by the fact that STUMPED offer no medical or bonus packages, but more because NYC Student (cynical, sarcastic and exceedingly evil.. hehehhe) confided to me that he is addicted to Dr Peppers *shudders* Is there anything in the world more frightening than that? So... tell me what you guys offer as incentives to join (other than a feeling of smugness accompanied by an annoying smirk of self-satisfaction for "doing the right thing" all the time). If it's good enough I may join you.. I don't have a licence though.. but I do have a play-doh barber's set and some stickle bricks. OOH! and a really creepy clockwork doll *winds up the doll and sets it walking across the room, then shrieks and runs away from it when it says "Momma" in a sinister, clicky voice* Eeek! I'm going now.. will check back for details after that thing's wound down... Oh yeah. Can you also tell me if it's still okay to build huge atomic monsters if I join you guys? That's kind of my hobby...

Haiku Girl improvises a mask to cover her face (that swishy red cape of hers isn't just there to look good you know), and with Poetry Woman by her side, escapes to the nearest window. Flinging it wide open, she reaches to her amazing belt pouch, pulls out a Giant Suction Device, and immediately starts vacuuming all those nasty fumes out the window into the Greater Atmosphere.

"We should be safe now
Super Heros of Choppers
So let's kick STUMPED @$$"

Oh goody! You have to pay for stuff like this on cable.. *Tangent Girl watches the scuffling super heroes and villains with wry amusment, using the clockwork doll as a remote scouting device. Lounging around on her beanbag, she pulls up a big bowl of popcorn and munches it happily, wondering who will win*

[OOC] oh, good god! there're more heros than villians! that's not supposed to happen! [/OOC]

*NYC groans, as if to reiterate that statement*

*notices NYC's "Try it you might like it" tshirt and suspects that if he didn't accept soft-drink corporate sponsorship to support his nefarious activities then the villain's would have a little more credibility*