h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Because I'll take off your shoes and tickle your feet mercilessly unless you do.

Haiku Girl, ever at Poetry Woman's side...

ooh, I've never had anybody tickle my feet before. I'm honored...

UH - woo-hoo! Is there any Super Secret Initiation Ceremony?

And let's see... as for a .. how about:

Haiku Girl: Poetry Woman's Sidekick. With a rather vicious side kick of her own as it happens. Short, sweet and never to be underestimated.

HG

BUT while she does it, I'm going to recite poetry to you! What do you think of THAT?!?

You /ought/ to be writhing in agony. And blurting out the location of the STUMPED HeadQuarters to Poetry Woman.

*increases the tickling, with the help of her handy Fantastic Feather*

HG

[Mewtwo reaches into NYC's mind]

[Mewtwo] }Whoa!{

[Vekura] {What, the base?}

[Mewtwo] }Oh, that. You should see some of the stuff in his dirty comic book collection!{

hey, that's MY mind, and I'd like it if you DIDN'T peruse through it!

and do your worst, Poetry Woman! You SuperHeros can probably learn a thing or two from us on how to EFFECTIVELY torture a victim!

Poetry Woman smiles benignly at NYC and begins to recite

"CHOPPERS is the very best,
forget, for ever, all the rest,
Especially STUMPED, which I have to say
Never seems to win the day.

Of course, that's not what they'll tell you,
They believe that they our world do rule,
Nobody said they're not deluded
(and the only rhyme for that's denuded)

So join CHOPPERS and not STUMPED
Lest with the mediocre ye be lumped,
It's CHOPPERS CHOPPERS, now and ever!
Rain, wind or shine, no matter what the weather!"

She leans over to NYC to see the effect this has had on him.

Poetry Woman

PW, I shouldnt bother. I know where they are anyway. Let's just flick paint at the guy...

Poetry Woman looks a little disappointed. "But I was having FUN! (By the way, how's that for a team motto?"

She shrugs, brightens and says "OK, but I get to flick the blue!"

She starts flicking blue paint at NYC.

Haiku Girl grabs the green paint and starts dripping it on the soles of NYC Guy's feet, making pretty patterns as it runs through his toes and along up his legs.

*sea returns- after stomping off in the midst of a very crappy day- and stops short upon spotting NYC. her eyebrows shoot up and a smile spreads across her face. NYC scowls*

[NYC] will you quit grinning at me and GET ME DOWN FROM HERE?!

[sea] *crosses arms* hmm... actually... there are a few things i'd like to know...

*NYC's eyes widen. sea grins at him*

[sea] oh, come on. i wouldn't do that. that would be taking the side of CHOPPERS.

*sea walks over to NYC*

Poetry Woman brandishes her Poetry Beam at sea, and then flicks blue paint at her too! And some more on NYC.

"Hm, perhaps I should have worn a painting shirt."

*sea watches the blue paint barely miss her clothes and land on her arm*

[sea] watch it, if you stain my clothes, i'm sending you the bill. and i promise you, leather won't be cheap to replace.

*sea continues toward NYC*

Haiku Girl steps round from NYC's suspended feet, where she's been dripping green paint.

"Aha! The rescue party. Is this all that STUMPED could send?"

She turns and whispers to Poetry Woman. "Are you sure that STUMPED isn't meant to be STUPID?"

And then, brandishing her Syllabic Shield, she faces sea once more.

"I'm not afraid of your dry cleaner, sea!"

"Stop right there, lest I zap you with my poetry beam!"

"And... well, you can throw paint at NYC a bit too, if you like. I've got red here somewhere."

*sea's infamous temper flares*

[sea] first of all, literary dork junior, i'm all they NEED to send. secondly, leave poor NYC alone. he's got enough problems dealing with girls IRL, he doesn't need this.

*sea decides she's not likely to reach NYC with the library squad in the way, so she braces herself for a battle. orange balls of lighting hover in her hands*

Poetry Woman whispers audibly to Haiku Girl "Well she's probably doing it on her own. She and NYC have this love-hate thing going. But make sure you don't mention it, they're in denial."

*sea rolls her eyes at PW, and throws a lightning ball at her. it knocks her backwards ten feet*

[sea] whatever. i'm not letting you bother me.

*sea advances upon haiku girl, grinning menacingly*

PW lies there, dazed. A cut is bleeding on her head, but nothing serious. Mostly, she's just out of commission for the moment.