h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you super heros are very depressing

TuxedoKMax decides that enough is enough and throws himself into the battle. First, he removes the sign that was so carelessly placed on the wall. Then he writes up a citation for an "illegally posted notice" and hands it to KL. Then he notices the "illegally parked" black vette and puts a parking ticket on it. He continues writing up the villains for all their grave misdeeds until they will have to come up with some (probably very large) crime to pay up.

If they don't pay their fines, they will have to answer to the authority.

(Sorry this isn't much action, but since I'm new I haven't actually witnessed any crimes yet, the detonation device exploded in the ether, and that is out of my jurisdiction)

(hey it's better than frying the cat)

Come now, you think a parking ticket is gonna make a difference? Bling Bling
Here we go now!

ok Mr. Super Hero (I just graduated you from any initiaton to being a super hero) show me what you got

A fine?

*Checks the ticket*

Alright. I'll pay this.

*Slides his STUMPED Master card through a credit card checker, and the money is sent to whoever accepts money for these fines*

Your lucky you fined me on one of my vacation days. If I was working right now, I wouldn't have paid. Don't expect anything from Yowuzupman, though. And seriously, you should look for some crimes. For instance, in the "Don't Panic" section of h2g2, there are a fey people trying to Take Over The World. STUMPED isn't teaming up with them yet, but you should check into that.

[Mewtwo] }I'm not evil. I'm just annoyed.{

[Vekura] {Yeah. He hasn't gotten over Billian calling that twerp Ash Ketchum a twerp ...}

*sea rubs her temples*

[sea] i had hoped that pokemon craze was over...

[evillene] are you kidding?! there are fanatics out there that are still playing POGS!!!

*sea and evillene shudder*

[Mewtwo] }It will still go on long enough ...{

[Vekura] {... for the FOURTH movie to come out.}

*sea and evillene look sick*

*an attractive young man enters the forum. upon seeing him, sea and evillene gasp and teleport out of the fourm*

[angel] i'm angel, sea and evillene's brother. i'm a good guy though. and i've been trying to catch the two of them and bring them here for rehabilitation... just thought i'd give you guys a heads up...

Zeb(hammering stake in with mallet): DIE! Angel...DIE! Angel...DIE-...

Emar(interupting): Ummh, I don't think this is the same "Angel" as the crappy TV show.

Zeb: It was worth a shot.

*angel throws zeb off of him and pulls the stake out of his chest*

[angel] i KNEW something like that was bound to happen.

*angel passes a hand over his chest and the wound heals*

[angel] *to zeb* you must be one of those evil rats from STUMPED. well in case you didn't know, i'm a good guy, and i intend to take STUMPED down. and puny little stakes won't stop me.

*angel kicks emar in the chest, sending him and zeb flying out of the forum. then angel turns back to the superheroes*

[angel] now, where were we?

about to get your collective asses kicked...

*NYC takes out his heavy machine-gun, and showers the forum in a blaze of fire, laughing manically all the while*

*pant pant* any of you still left?

*NYC throws a couple three grenades for good measure*

heeheehee... I think my job is done...

*angel does a flying somersault and lands on NYC's chest*

[angel] don't mess with me, boy. i'm too old to be playing games with you.

*angel takes NYC's bazooka and bashes it against his skull, knocking NYC out and leaving what is going to be a VERY nasty bruise*

*if NYC were conscious, he'd thank himself for installing the deadman-bolt in his trenchcoat. It lets out a nerve gas which quickly leaves the forum in a fine mist*

[angel] what this hell is--...

*angel starts clawing away at his hair, and rolls around on the floor in agony. NYC wakes with a start, and instinctually puts on his gas mask*

hehehe...

*NYC kicks angel*

Zeb: Get up Emar! We've got to administer some payback!

Emar: Ow...

Zeb: OH C'MON!! It's just a kick to the ribs! You gonna let a little thing like a collapsed lung stop you.

Emar: Yes...

Zeb: Well that's just great! My puppeteer's out of commission. Oooh, ANGEL'S GONNA PAY!!...



<...Zeb takes a few moments to ponder his options...>

Zeb: I got it! Hey, Emar, you have that little book with all the phone numbers?

Emar: Ouch...the one I use to get celebrity guests to appear in my circus? Yeah...

Zeb: That's the one! I think it's time I got a special guest puppeteer......MUHUHUHUHUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Emar: Please...no maniacal laughter right now...doing the ventriloquism for it is very hard on my chest...ow! ooh!...

*angel holds his breath and almost manages to take NYC's gas mask, but NYC is quite attatched to it. so angel runs outside, takes a deep breath, runs back in, punches NYC, then decides it would be easier to open some windows and let the gas out*

*angel starts on one side opening windows, and going out to breathe. NYC takes the opportunity to place a small bit of C4 on the edge of one of the windows. before he can get away, NYC is kicked across to the opposite side of the room by angel, who continues to open windows*

....BOOOOOOMMM!!!....

*big evil grin*

<...but as Angel opens the windows, a figure bursts in through them, knocking him to the floor...>

damn C4

damn simuposts

*angel lands, rather crispy, with a thud. he grabs the figure and pushes it away, then heals his burns and walks menacingly toward NYC*

<..but does a double take as he realizes that, although the figure IS carrying Zeb, it is not Emar. Instead, Angel now faces a slightly taller, gray haired man in slacks and a blue sweater...>

Mr. Rogers(cheery but menacing): Won't you be our neighbor?