h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*gulps down last of *
By any chance, do you have any more food there?

Well... this place is a bar, after all. I think there might be a sandwich menu somewhere...

*rummages around under bar*

*comes out of the kitchen holding a

Hey Peter! WTF is this thing

hmmm... what could i get for... *lays money on bar*


?

J.J

On current exchange rates... about half a fig.

But we do accept American Express.

Hmmm

I'l take the half-fig...
And could you pass me your menu?

Hands over about 2Kg of loose coins

*Plays, and sways at the keyboard.*

*Wonders if Mystrunner's had one too many*

Aha!

*Pulls a whole bunch of menus out triumphantly, then doubles up choking on a lungful of dust*

I... *coughs* ...think there should be... *coughs* ...a human menu somewhere in this... *coughs* ... little lot...

*coughs some more*

Noone showed me those menus

*Waves.*

Nah, I'm fine. Gettin' into the swing, eh?

*looks at menu*
Hmmmm...
Could I get a few cheeseburgers, a couple , a side order of fries, and, oh yeah, that black spaceship outside...
*Slides American Express card over the bar*

J.J

*Glances out of window and leans across the bar to whisper*

You see that Kratian bounty hunter over there? The one with the multi-barrel reflux-cycloblaster? It belongs to him. That's why he's glaring at you.

*Leans back and carries on at a normal volume*

How many cheeseburgers was that, sir?

*Begins to play: http://pbharley.dynu.com/jessecox/jazzmess/vitamin/pianobari.mp3 *

*Starts polishing glasses*

*starts sharpening knives*

Oh... I'll take back the order on the spaceship...
Anyway, I'll take 3 cheeseburgers...

*Starts relaxing*

J.J

Three cheese burgers, ok.

Where did that latest shipment of prime beef go?
*whispering* You know, the reduced stuff?

Ah, why not?
*goes off to mean looking bounty hunter*

*slides back along bartop, like in the old western movies...*

Hmmm... I don't think he was too keen on selling his ship...

J.J

if i give you two sheep and half a pig can i have a steak dinner with chips, mushy beans, onion rings, crispy garlic mushrooms and a banoffee pie for dessert?

creachy