h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yep.
Oh well - I think we should all get drunk to comemorate President Peregrin, and re-start the elections.

Hmmm.....
Was that a knife you just tucked away there, BB?
*backs away*
The poor man's not even cold, and you wanna re-start the elections?
I don't know.... I don't like this....

*suddenly comes back to life*

I'm hungry. Anyone got a roast chicken handy?

Bloody hell, its a zombie.

*runs off to find the white candles, salt and sowing kit*

*digging into his pockets*
I got a hammer and a wooden peg. Brutal, but highly effective.

Thats vampires, not zombies.

Urm... was it the zombie that was made of mud and you had to get a bright light to their faces so that the mud dries and cracks and turns to dust?

Mmmm.... brains..... brains....
*ambles up to Bluebottle and eats his brains*

Look at this. One brainless fool trying to eat the brain of another brainless fool.
Sad.

*Starts laughing so hard he drops the needle*

Peregrin - do you mind????
I need them for my uni course.

*snatches something hanging out of Peregrin's mouth - what could it be - why, it's a piece of paper!*
What's this?.... Oh.
*reads out loud*
"I OWE YOU: ONE BRAIN. SIGNED: GOD."

(sorry!! so sorry!!!)

*starts looking for needle*

*starts looking for haystack*
You know where it's gonna be, don't you.

*reviews extencive knowledge of Zombie movies*

Some where in or on the Zombie, where else?

In a dark, damp, dank room that can only be searched when the smoke-machine's turned on and you use X-files torches?

Usually with the Zombie lurking in a pitch black corner.

Or above the door... and strikes just when the torch switches itself off...

*returns from restroom; finds place seemingly abandoned*
Hey! Where are y'all??
*hears strange noise behind him; turns round, sees something unspeakable coming towards him*
Errr.... Now I know..... Thanks for warning me....

Yep... By the way - beware of the unspeakable danger!