h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't care.

~strolls in wearing gold lame bikini, intent on improving suntan.~

Hi everyone!

~Glances at Mina, glances at Lighthousegirl, glances at self and rushes off to Gym~

I don't care that you don't care. I've made you this nice one out of denim, with green sequins on it. Will you try it on? I'm sure it'll look very fetching!

Where did Go Go Girl Go? The gym? What's that then?

~jogs into view, wearing sports kit and trainers, heavily panting~

Hi Mina

The following definition will not be found in any dictionary, but I feel is the most apt for me...

Gym:- A place designed to make my body fit into a bikini.

~continues jogging a few feet, before collapsing into a quivering heap~

GGG

Don't go too mad and damage yourself. You'll look very fetching as you are.
To be honest, I'm against this sort of thing really, judging by looks alone, but it shows up all the old letchers on h2g2, so thought I'd join in.

Precisely why I'm doing it too.

And I may look fetching now, but an ever-so-slighly perkier and toned bottom in the teensy, eensy excuse for a thong that I intend to wear will be devastating!

~Starts doing sit-ups~

Good idea.
*starts doing sit ups as well*

I forgot to add, that one glance at you in your rubber bikini made me realise how serious the competition is going to be...

~throws in a few ab crunchers~

hmm, well, I'm making more of an effort this year in case last year's winner comes back.

She hasn't been seen so far...
*Sees everyone doing sit-ups, and so decides to sit down and watch.*
That's right, Go-Go Gym Girl. You can do it, Mina.

<BB<

* does Tai Chi *

I've been designing my bikini. It will be absolutely devestating, I assure you

*prepares to be devastated*

*gives up doing situps and starts doing stetching exercises*

* feels exhausted just watching all this exercise *

* commences the Beijing 24 for the tenth time this evening *

Oh yes, it's going to be absolutely devestating...

*Sultandude still lurking in the distance with his binoculars, pulls out a and from his picnic basket whilst he oogles the exercises.*

* throws his towel at Sultandude, neatly covering the binoculars *

There'll be plenty of time for that when the contest has begun!

* wanders off to find a tailor to work up his bikini *

*Wonders off for a tinker*

<BB<

* wanders back *

Right, that's the bikini ordered!

* cackles *

This is going to be embarrassing, I can tell.

* wonders if she should get a bikini and enter anyway *

* wonders what style and colour she should go for *

* decides it would have to include purple *

Go on, enter. It'll be fun.
Then we can all start singing:
"She wore an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, purple polka dot bikini"

<BB<