h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Demon Drawer you have one minute to talk on the subject of this forum starting now.

I've yet to meet a smooth talking studnet barman, in fact I do not believe that such a mind boggingly useful person actually exists in any dimension in real life. Often I have sat a student bars and dreamt of meeting a smooth talking student barman, who would actually know how to mix a decent cocktail or know

*looks round*

Sorry was it my turn

As Peter Jones:

Well I think there was too much of something I don't know what.

Nicholas Parsons:

That's just it Peter he knew two much, so Peter you get one point for a correct challenge and 42 seconds on Looking for Smooth talking Studenet Barman starting now.

*looks at note book and shuffles paper*

As Derek Nimmo:

Surely that was hesitation.

Peter Jones:

But I didn't get started.

Nicholas Parsons:

However there was a pause, so the challenge is correct, Derek you have 41 seconds on the subject from now.

Derek Nimo:

I do believe that was another hesitation!

Kenneth Williams:

Oooh. Yes there was. And Derek buzzed himself for it. Ha! I came all the way from Great Protman Street to see Derek buzz himself for hesitation. Hehaha ha!

I'm sure there is a repetition in there somewhere.

KW:

Don't be silly!!! You can't buzz for repetition in a challenge. HaHa!

Nicholas explain the rules to him.

*heads off to sulk in the corner*

Wanders in and proclaims the new official h2g2 greeting* All hail the mighty WAPbudgie!!

Hi guys how goes it!

I think I'm loosing.

Repetition of the letter o.

No, he's clearly just a Greek scholar. When you learn ancient Greek, the verb you first get to learn (which takes about 3 years, Greek being a language with considerably more inflections than can possibly be useful), the spectacularly practical verb "to loose" (which, on the offchance that Greek letters actually come out here, may or may not look like "λυω").

That's "to loose", as opposed to "to lose", or even "Toulouse", either of which would have been more useful. You get to translate everyday sentences such as "The gifts have loosened the sailors toungues."

I'm not making this up.

Then after you've spent 3 years learning it, they tell you that in fact it's the one and only regular verb in Greek... (I.e. more or less every single verb works differently!)

As you may be able to tell, learning Greek was not a positive experience for me. The only thing I can still remember is the lower case Greek alphabet. Most of it. And only then because it's useful for maths.

D'Oh! Always remember to preview... And before anyone asks, no, as I'm sure you're aware, that's not proper Greek. It tends to have fewer ampersands, hashes, letters and semicolons, and more Greek letters...

...and before anyone else gets a chance...

Deviation!

Damn, Just to slow.

I'm just amazed you haven't got me for hesitation yet!

I was giving somone else a chance.