h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Everyone is going witht he semi-expensive ideas, I ask you people, why? I get by, doing my evil deeds, from my parents basement. Some of you will scoff at this, but the reason its the basement is because thats where the computer is, and has nothing to do with how much rent I pay. Anyways, While this computer is not the greatest Machination of Evil in existance, it serves my need well enough, and plus, my parents pay for the internet and such things. Another thing an evil genius should never be without, a comfy chair, yes, a simple chair, without on where can evil brood? well...other than the Porcelin Throne of Evil, which just happens to be an other essential part of my lair, the mighty White Porcelin Throne of Evil, without it I cannot relieve myself and my thinking becomes obstructed (as does something else, but that won't get mentioned :P). And thus I submit my report about what the Master of Puppets lair is all about, oh and one more thing an evil genius must have, his mother wo cook for him, what is an evil genius without mom's fresh cookies?

That certainly sounds comfortable as well as economical, but I wonder, does the evilness need to be toned down when the folks go to bed? Personally, I do my best plotting and schemeing well after sunset. Oh, and before I go, would you happen to have any of those cookies left for a maniac with the munchies such as myself?

What! You don't have your mother around to bake your own cookies? Hmmmm, you will need to remedy this, but in the meantime, I do believe that I have some available.

I found it difficult to "entertain" the ladies when mom was about, and belive me, she was quite clear in her objections. But the swinging bacheler pad was awesome, despite their being little time{much less energy} left to contemplate world domination. But I do miss the cookies.

OK, there are advantages to home evil lair'ing, but what about the disadvantages? - Being asked to put the trash out for instance, right in the middle of a bubblingly good evil plot?

But thats the whole point, don't take out the trash! Be evil!

Then your mother would no longer bake you cookies!

Oh cmon, every evil genius has a mind control device (well I do anyway). So use it for what it was meant to be used as.

But every evil genius knows they just don't work on mothers.

(Always remember, if things go wrong, who do you want to run to for milk, cookies, and assurance that your evil scheme backfiring was not your fault)

Some people {though not me} subscribe to the theory that evil is an inheirieted trait, so you might want to have an underling handy for a quick test before ingestion. Its what kept the royals upright. Me, I'd slip a little extra "something" in the brownies. That way they would be upright but NOT uptight.

Hmmmmm, excellent idea, and now that I have that idea, I've got some baking to do...