h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

< Mwah ha haaa.....>

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*Stares, mouth open for a little while. Then she curls up on the end of the bed and rubs her forehead.*

Well, at least you invited me to dinner first.

What happens afterward?

What happens after? For one thing the other remaining system lords will realise just how much power I have acrued.

*looks directly at the Major*

Don't be hurt, but the banquet isn't entirely for your benefit. Every system lord has many spies and informants. Unfortunatly even some in my court. This will be as much for their benefit as yours.

As for what happens to you. That depends.

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I told you- I don't know as much about our operations as you think I do. I can't tell you what I don't know.

*Scandrea's face screws up like she's just tasted something sour.*

Or, you could have some other reason for keeping me here. And I really, really hope it isn't what I think it is.

Perhaps you shouldn't think so much.

*Atum claps his hands again*

We shall have to get you ready.

*Atum talks to the slaves as they come*

See to the rock major. I want her clean, dressed and ready to take her place at the festivities.

*Atum walks out flanked by jaffa. The slaves leave and return shortly with a handfull of courtiers and two large trunks...*

*Scandrea stands up, still looking confused.*

Look, I- er, what's in that? No, thank you! I'm perfectly capable of bathing myself!

<*munch munch*>

*three slaves paw and pull at the major, simoultaneously trying to undress her, clean her and rub various oils and fragrances onto her skin. A fourth is delving into the massive trunks, apparently indiscrimantly throwing clothes across the room, whilst muttering about wrong body shapes*

Look- Hey! No!

If you'll all just leave me alone, I'm sure we can come to- ah! Hey! I'm ticklish, don't do that!

What exactly is wrong with what I'm wearing? It's clean, it fits, it's-ow! Watch the hair!- and I'm comfortable.

*Looks at the next outfit the slave is holding up.*

And that doesn't look comfortable.

*the slavegirl throws that 'outfit' away*

What about this?

*she takes out a full length jet black dress. Armless, haulter neck with plunging black. It's edges lined with small rubies*

*Looks at it up and down, blushes and speaks before she even knows what's coming out of her mouth.*

I could live with that... but I promise you that I can get into it by myself!

*the slavegirls shoulders slump and she hands over the dress. The slaves all look too each other as if to say 'thank god for that'*