h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A moderate sized sandstone walled chamber. Many banners and fabric drapes cover the walls. Finery and ornaments compete for the eyes attention. In the centre of the room sits a large sarcophagus.

Major Scandrea lies on a bed of cusions in the corner. Her clothes have been replaced for a simple tunic and trousers.

*Scandrea slowly comes to.*

Ow...

*The day's events come back to her with speed. She looks down to see what she is wearing at first with alarm, then with considerable relief. She looks around for a quick escape route.*

*Atum walks around the sarcophagos*

There is another way out of here. I don't expect you to find it though.

Are you comfortable?

*Nods* Comfortable enough.

*She tries to get to her feet a little too quickly, and ends up sitting back down with spots in front of her eyes and a splitting headache.*

*a thump resounds throughout the building as the front doors are thrown back and a distant voice resounds angrily from the throne room*

*Looks up, headache suddenly abated as terror does the work of a good night's sleep and twelve horse-sized asprin.*

And the day gets better...

*Atum looks ruefully to the side, then turns again to the major*

Excuse me.

*atum whispers into one of his courtiers ears, who then proceeds to leave the chamber*

Now where were we, Major Scandrea of the tauri.

*Atum walks over to the bed the major is lying on and sits elegantly at the side of it. His head turn to the small group of jaffa and attendants*

Leave us.

*All the gathered quickly leave the chamber. Atums attention and gaze return to the major*

So much fire and hatred in your eyes.

*His fingers run across the edge of a cushion*

If it is not your wish to be immortal, then I shall not violate your, ...humanity?

*atum smiles and almost laughs with the last word*

Your kind, along with your friends the Tok'ra and their allies seem to be causing the death of many system Lords.
Once I was a system lord. But fate is a fickle master and I was reduced to a meagre handfull of backward planets.
But now. Well lets say that many vacums of power left by your actions have required my attention. And I do not intend for history to repeat itself.

*Atums long fingernails leave the cushions and he lies across the bottom of the bed, intently looking upward to the major*

Enough of my boasting. I want to know about you major Scandrea.

<*Munches * any chance of you 2 writing Eastenders, I'd watch then>

*Scandrea's hand goes up to where her dog tags used to be.*

~~What is this guy trying to pull?~~

I'm just the rock doc- there's not a lot to tell.

<~~What is this guy trying to pull?~~ You dear >

<>

Erm... really.

*Moves away a bit, but not so far that she is out of reach.*

You'll forgive me if I'm not entirely, familiar, with your expressions. A 'rock doc'? Would that make you an apothecary?

A scientist. A geologist- I study rocks.

~~Dear God "I study rocks?" Someone shoot me now.~~

You look at rocks. Are rocks interesting?

*Atum smiles broadly as a servant hurries into the room and whispers a message into his masters ear*

You will have to excuse momentarily. Though I look forward to continuing this, conversation.

If it pleases you to look there is a secret passage that could grant you freedom. It's exceptionaly well hidden, but feel free to search.

*Atum smiles and leaves*

*Scandrea lets out a great sigh of relief, and starts looking around for irregularities in the architecture that might indicate a hidden passageway.*

'I study rocks.' Jeez!