h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*guests panic and immediatly start running out of their chairs and for cover, most of the zat blasts catch them*

*The antelope gallumphs into the room, skidding round fire and guests, horns lowered, obviously on a mission. Inexplicably it is carrying a basket full of rose petals.
It storms towards the major, sparing a quick glance for the human rescuers to ensure they need no help, before continuing towards Scandrea*

GET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S BEEN TAKEN AS A HOST, don't hurt her, it's happened only recently, the Goa'uld hasn't got full control

*Aim's a zat blast at Scandrea*

*Scandrea collapses as the blast hits home. Junit gets knocked out first.*

She shut up... finally.

*She loses consciousness.*

Oh Scan thank God you're still in there

Quick we'll take her directly to the Tok'Ra let them get rid of the symbiote

*Signals two of party to pick up Scandrea and carry her too the gate*

Keep you eyes open Atum will be very unhappy

*Remembers Nefertums threat*

You go and get her to the Tok'Ra, I'm going to have a look around

*Groans softly as she is carried to the gateroom.*

*The antelope, surprised by the zat fire whistling past its ears, screeches to a halt as Scandrea is hit and stares suspiciously at her. As she is carried towards the Gate Room it follows closely behind her, butting her trailing hand over the airman's shoulder*

*as the carnage subsides and the danger passes, Atum re-enters the great throne room. Around him a battalion of jaffa flood through the room, securing it*

*Atum angrily turn to Part'alo, his new first prime...*

This is your doing. You fool. The tauri have escaped, taken my prize, and all present have seen your failing.

Redeem yourself. None present should be allowed to ever bear witness to your incompetence!

*At this Part'olo hurriedly instructs the jaffa to heard together the assembled guests. Then, once they are coraled together, the jaffa level their staffs and fire relentlessly and remourslessly into the gathered mass untill the last plea and scream has been silenced*

Remove the bodies and search the rest of the palace. I want every trace gone.

*Atum storms back to his chambers*

*From the curtain behind the Throne the Colonel peeks out*

Now if I were a highly secretive disc where would I be

<>

*The Colonel tiptoes out*

Now for a disguise

*Heads for the Slave's Quarters*

*the young slave girl leads the colonel into the room*

Our master is most angry. One of the scribes said because these people angered him so, they were all punished. We have to clean the hall before we are punished too.

*the girl quickly gets a bucket of water and comes back to the colonel*

You can help me cleanse the floor.

*hands the colonel a rag*

My name is Gees but I do not know you.

Umm...er...my name is Angelique

*Takes the rag and kneels to start cleaning the floor*

*Mutters*

It's like being back at the Convent, I never thought I thank Sister Angelique for anything, but at least I can clean floors better that anyone

Gees:What do you think they could have done to anger Lord Atum this much?

I don't know, I haven't been in the service of Atum for long but my last master Jehovah, was a mighty benevolant God, but when he got angry the walls would shake

*Gees looks up wide eyed and excited*

You've seen other worlds.

*A jaffa looks over at the the pair. Gees quickly buries her head down and rubs again at the floor*

I can't imagine a whole other world. What was it like? Why are you 'here' now?

I have seen many other worlds in my masters domain, I was a gift from Jehovah to Atum

You must be proud that your master would feel you worthy to give to another god. Have you been given a bed or anywhere to rest. Our rooms are busy, but I can show you the quiet places where no one else goes.