h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hey, i know i'm the new boy here but surly there should have been some sort of call from the president. this guy takes fast track premotion to a whole other level.

[Caldwell] It's a prime posting, a lot of people would have killed their own mother to get it

I can't promise you that I won't strangle him on sight, sir.

*Caldwell Smiles*

[Caldwell] I suspect you will be at the end of a very long line Major

*rubs his head*

Wait wait wait whoooa, you know I was under the impression this was going to be a short easy mission, then went spent YONKs with the antlered thing people got shot at and NOW this? This makes my life seem like dealing with kittens. This makes my Ex Wife seem like a kitten

*sits down on the floor and yawns* Sorry grouchy didnt have a long enough nap. so how long til we get back? Read that as: anyone got a plan?

<<>>

*Caldwell sits and waits for a message*

*Major LeRue stumbles in reeking of gin*

Shumbody said shomthing over the talking box thingy a while back...

*furls his brow*

... shumthing about bridge I reckon.

*Smiles good naturedly*

*Stands there with mouth open for a moment.*

LeRue, you're not going anywhere but the sick bay. That's an order.

*Caldwell frowns*

If you turn up on my ship in that state again Major you'll find yourself in the brig

Whoa there buster, where did you get that? *looks at everyones expressions* Curiosity, thats all!

< ! >

I knew this ship came with all the extra boxes ticked apart from the cup holders, i'm not even fussed where he found the Gin and Tonic.

its just where do you find a slice of lime on teh other side of the galaxy?

Supplies Pete, so we can eat. You know, food?

Now, aside from getting drunk do we have any kind of plan at all? Anyone? I mean use your imagination, we have gun maniacs, pyromaniacs who like explosions, medics, what can we do?

<<>>

*Caldwell Rolls his eyes*

[Hermiod] Would you like me to beam them into space Colonel Caldwell?

*spins round* Oh come on! we need some sort of plan! Any plan, we cant go in unprepared we all might get thrown in the brig for just turning up late by this new guy for all we know, we must defend our base- we must never surrender- yadda yadda yadda.

Ofcourse, he might end up being a nice guy...... but that never seems to happen im my experience of these things.....

Yes they normally turn out to be a Major A-hole.