h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wonders what joy he gets out of repeatedly demolishing popcorn machines*

Zeb: I love doing that.

Emar: This explains the why all the concessions at my circus taste like gunpowder.

well, the last one made 13 tons of popcorn before it stopped working. This one stopped working since you knocked me out of my chair. So... why not? there's only one initiate (and one sociopathic maniac) and they're both unconscious, and I'm bored...

gunpowder-flavored concessions... sounds like my hometown's fair...
*gets a dreamy, reminiscing look in her eyes*

*shakes her head violently*
i've GOT to stop doing that...

you SURE you don't live in the bible belt?

quite, actually. thank fortune for THAT...

Lucky non-bible-belt-residin' b******s.

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BECOME A MEMBER IF EVERYONE KEEPS KICKING ME OUT, TURNING ME INTO SMALL PARTICLES, AND OTHERWISE BEING NOT-VERY-NICE ABOUT THIS!!!!!! WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU MY NOT-VERY-NICE, IN FACT, COMPLETELY EVIL SIDE THEN IF THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE!!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP
BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

*NYC creeps out of the demolished rubble of the control booth*

...umm... because we don't LIKE being turned into binary?

*Kudos points his Kill-O-Zap gun at NYC and...*

ZZZAP!

Zeb: WHY DO YOU THINK WE TREAT YOU BADLY, YA JERK?!! IT'S !*BECAUSE*!, INSTEAD OF GOING THROUGH THE INITIATION LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, YOU COME IN AND TRY TO TAKE OVER, AND GENERALLY MAKE AN ASS OF YOURSELF!! AND THAT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD, EXCEPT IT'S *ALL* YOU SEEM TO BE ABLE TO DO!! YOU MAKE !*ME*! LOOK MELLOW, DAMMIT!! AND IF YOU'RE GONNA ATTACK US ALL, DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN JUST BLASTING PEOPLE. SHOW SOME GODDAMNED CREATIVITY!! LIKE...***THIS***!!!....

*does the puddle-regeneration bit*
wow, nice going, zeb.
*steps toward kudos and whispers*
hey, i'll make you a deal. if you don't EVER turn me into binary again, i'll let you skip the initiation. but don't tell the others. and if i ever end up binary again, your membership card will be instantly revoked. are we clear?

*NYC once again emerges from the rubble*

What? What's this? I didn't agree to this! I have NO current reason as to why Kudos should be a member!

*Sea gives NYC an evil stare*

hmm... let's think. he's evil, we already see that. he came to be initiated, so maybe if we let him in, he'll stop turning us into binary. or one of us, anyway.

Well...that's awfully nice of you, sea...unlike these OTHER bozos in here.
I promise not to turn you into binary. You've been nice to me, anyway!
And it'd be cool to join...that is, if there aren't any rules against evil counterparts of other researchers joining?

nope, because, you see, there are already several members of STUMPED who are evil counterparts of other researchers... hmm. let's see. The Krylma, Red, Big Bad Werewolf, and Grey Spectre are the ones that come to mind. oh yes, and mustn't forget the three clones.
so anyway, welcome to STUMPED. here is your membership card. and don't forget the deal, because i certainly won't...

Thanks, sea! And don't worry, I won't forget it.

By the way, if you people want me to stop terrorizing this place, just give me a suggestion of another place to take my special skills and I'll be on my way.

oh, there's no problem of terrorizing this place, as long as it situated upon the INITIATES, and NOT the members...

...so why don't you go and turn the two initiates into binary to shake things up?

i happen to like kudos...other than his occasional whineing...he is ok....but then he hasnt tried to turn me into binary yet either.....And how come i have been given no lamanated card?....i have been in here well over 3 days....

yeah...it says i staggered in here round about last week or so, so that is like at least 6 days....

*looks sheepish*
sorry, indi. here's your STUMPED membership card. you're free to go now...