Golf Jokes

0 Conversations

Back To So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

The nearest picture I could find to golf

Golfer: This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!

Caddy: This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago!

Golfer: Well Caddy, How do you like my game?

Caddy: Very good, Sir! But personally I prefer Golf.

Golfer: Well, I have never played this badly before!

Caddy: I didn't realize you had played before, Sir!

Golfer: Caddy, Do you think my game is improving?

Caddy: Oh yes, Sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to!

Golfer: I'm sorry to not tee off today but my Doctor's told me I can't play golf!

Caddy: Oh, so he's played with you too, Sir!

Golfer: My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!

Caddy: I'm sure you'll miss her terribly, Sir!

Golfer: Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?

Caddy: The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!

Golfer: Please stop checking you watch all the time, caddy. It's distracting!

Caddy: This isn't a watch, Sir, its a compass!

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.

"Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that

The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it, so I don't need another one."

Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the
ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."

"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among
the bushes and shrubs?"

The other guy replied, "That's okay, too. You see, this special golf
ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the
sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you
going to do then?"

"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is florescent.
I'll be able to see it in the dark."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

The other guy replies, "I found it."

So Long And Thanks For Laughing

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry

Written and Edited by


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more