Fishing
Created | Updated Dec 15, 2009
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Fishing Terms Explained
HOOK:
(1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish.
(2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel.
(3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
LINE:
Something you give your coworkers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
LURE:
An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
REEL:
A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
ROD:
An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
SCHOOL:
A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
TACKLE:
What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
TACKLE BOX:
A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
TEST:
(1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range.
(2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.
A mother and her son Jonah were digging for fishing bait in my garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Jonah proudly dangled it before his mother.
"No, honey, he won't do for bait," his mother said. "He's not an
earthworm."
"He's not?" Eddy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"
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