h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Matina, some greens for the unaus please.

IIEM, a vanilla latte please.

*enters carrying a box of Jauemne's doughnuts*

IIEM, coffee with lots of milk and sugar please.

*opens the box and picks out an apple spice doghnut*

[GDZ]

[egon]

Ooh, a lesser spotted Egon
IIEM, a cup of Ambition, please...

OOohh, one of Jauemne's doughnuts... Haven't had that for quite a while!
*munches happily*

IIEM, a Mog's specialt if you please

And today's top Amazon Daily Deal, for only 99 cents: To Sin With a Viking, #1 in the Forbidden Viking series.

That makes me think of a tite "101 Things to Do With a Viking".

#'s 2-99 would involve drinking heavily in a feast hall. Not sure about the rest.

Oh dear, Lil's posting about '101 ways of' reminds me of that premeditated prank one of the guests at the hotel I was working in at the time - I'm bound to bore you folks with the story every couple of years or so.

All paintings were screwed to the wall, to avoid them being stolen.

I'm not sure how often someone cleaning a hotel room would look up at the walls, but we were lucky that this one did.

The last guest had obviously brought some tools with him (I'm going to assume it was a male, prejudiced as I am after working for more than 30 years in the hotel business).

He used the tools to steal one of our paintings but chose to replace it with a framed poster in roughly the same size (see, I said it was most likely premeditated).

A poster with small sketches of a couple being very intimate with each other in 101 different positions.

And I'm still wondering WHY?

#1: To Run Away From a Viking

That does sound like a good premeditated prank, Ti! As for why, you just can't ask. Because they can, is the usual reason...

Maybe they ran out of ideas during their visit and wanted to help make sure that no other guests suffered from the same problem?

Getting away from naughty pictures and back to teeth, I still only have one wisdom tooth. The top right one hasn't come through and, so says my dentist, the bottom two are completely absent.

I'm not sure if I got any wisdom teeth at all. Really not sure. I think there may be one or two, but not more, which is good because there always was too little space in my jaw anyhow. I got this tooth pulled at the age of about 12 because there was no other way to get enough space.

I got my upper jaw no. 4s (both of them) pulled out at the age of 12 because my middle front teeth were protuding to make me look rather like a

And then having to wear the muchly hated brace pulling them back in for a couple of years.

I was wearing a brace for many years before that but only with moderate success. Even with the pulled tooth my upper middle front teeth are slightly overlapping and are not exactly centered.

My front teeth aren't perfectly lined up either, because I handily 'forgot' to bring the brace on a holiday trip, and when I next had an appointment with my dentist, the brace didn't fit any more.

Having a bicycle accident hitting my lower jaw into the street, chipping a piece out of one of my front teeth didn't exactly improve the look.

Although, mostly, I think the only person to really notice it is myself.

Except that, now that you've mentioned it, people will likely be looking...

Tom and a friend are picking up supplies needed to replace the carpet in the dining room (Why? Though I've lived several places with carpet in the dining room...) with laminate Since the kitchen is basically an alcove off the dining room, we'll be replacing the vinyl in there, too. Pulling the carpet up earlier, we found not-bad vinyl, in a continuous sheet from dining room to the kitchen, so it was originally floored as one big room anyway We'll be continuing the laminate into the living room later, so, for now, we'll just get a cheap rug to place in the doorway between the dining and living rooms. We'll need good weather to do the living room--while all the dining room furniture fits into the living room without too much obstruction, the reverse would need a tardis We'll have to have couches and such outside that day...

I also didn't like my brace. It hurt and I couldn't open my mouth when wearing it because it also adjusted the relative position of the jaws to each other.

I chipped a very tiny piece off one of my front teeth while walking and pushing a bike. I fell against the bike. It's really only a tiny piece so nobody sees it.

NO Amy, the won't, because hootooers in general and Salonistas in particular really don't pay attention to that kind of detail - I think...

I've got a bit of a theory on the Hollywood Smile(tm), I think it's utter

I've got shockingly bad teeth, and yet very few people ever notice. As a kid I brushed my teeth a lot, used mouthwash when it came onto the market over here, and still ended up at the dentist all the time with toothache. It's only since I stopped being for fussy about "dental hygiene" and going to the dentist that I stopped having toothache regularly. Yes, most of my teeth are shot, but they no longer hurt. And I don't care.

I've known people for years, drinking or working with them regularly for a long while when the subject of teeth comes up, and they are genuinely surprised when I do a big grin and show them my less than pearly whites. Over the course of years, they've never noticed.

My theory on this is, in real life we don't smile like they do in the movies. When sitting opposite someone in a restaurant, cafe or pub, we don't constantly pull our lips back like a demented chimpanzee.

I think what happened, is when sound came into the movies, too things happened. Firstly, the sound quality was so bad that they had to make sure they got properly trained actors in to enunciate clearly and loudly, and stage actors exaggerate their lip movements. Secondly, the image quality was so bad that they needed the contrast high between the lips, teeth, hole, so that it actually looked like the actors were talking.

So I think we got a lot of people suddenly in the public eye with artificially shiny teeth, and it kinda stuck. Over the years we've been conditioned to think that shiny white teeth is the only acceptable thing. Which is utter

I'm not saying that people shouldn't clean their teeth, because that's daft. But I think this whole big smile thing is utter junk. Seriously, look at the people you spend some time talking to, and see if you actually ever look at or even see their teeth.