h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did anyone see the commericial for running shoes, where the woman is just back from a run in the woods, and an chainsaw/axe murderer breaks into her house. She starts running away, and she's much faster than the bad guy, who eventually gets tired, and stops for a cramp in his side.

It got pulled because it offended womens groups...something about violence towards women. I thought it kind of showed women had the power to overcome.

...but only if they buy Brand X of running shoes...

And why did you have to cover the ground, Hypatia? Sure it's dirty, but I've never known the ground to jump up onto my plate if it wasn't covered. It usually stays right beneath my feet (certain times excepted, but I doubt you were serving any of those types of beverages to the kids. And I mean the ground not the plate, but those same exceptions have sometimes found my plate somewhere beneath my body I won't go into details). And the fact that salad comes *out* of the ground and does *not* get cooked, doesn't that have any bearing? Do we have to give up raw fruits and vegetables too? Rinsing them only does so much.

And hello to Dottyfix.

Since people have been known to get E. coli from improperly washed greens does that mean Ms. Busybody gets crazy when salads are served anywhere at any function in town?

And who do you root for when Ms. Busybody goes up against the Smellfungus?

I was thinking that we all ought to brainstorm a fabulous confrontation for Hypatia to arrange between Ms. Busybody and the Smellfungus. Then we could take bets on the outcome.

And I am so glad we have moved on from to douche.

And in this corner, we have the annoyer of librarians, the town council crier, the Smellfungus.

In the opposing corner, we have the breakers of kiddies hearts, the self proclaimed food n*zi, Ms Busybody.

Now ladies, i want a dirty fight. No punching above the belt

Not only do you have a 'second' and a 'third' to the motion of pitting the Smellfungus against Ms Busybody, you also have a 'fourth' for the vote.

I was actually hoping to be the one to put forward this obvious bit of deviltry, yet it's fine we're thinking along the same lines here.

Good idea, FG and Witty. Loved the ring-side announcer scenario, Marv.

B4iconcoctadiabolicalplan

oryoudo2

I will fifth the motion.

Colorado Springs is looking better and better the more I think about it.

Re: Douches

> My mother would have died on the spot if I had asked her a question like that.

My mom made the mistake of leaving her red rubber bag and weird plastic hose in the shower (back when there was only the one) for everyone to see. I asked her what it was, and she got really flustered - to the point of waving her hands in the air and blushing furiously. She finally said "It's for washing out your insides!" and hurried out of the room. For years, I thought it was some sort of device for giving enemas.

THAT is what THAT WAS!!!!

I guess I though that for well over 30 years.

I never knew what those were either... There was always one in the drawers in the bathroom, but it was not often used. At least, it was always buried and covered in dust.

In previous dueling b***h contests, the winner has always been Ms. Busybody. At least in those I'm aware of. I always hope for a double knockout.

If I had to choose between the two, I would rather deal with Ms. Busybody. She makes me crazy, but she isn't actually evil. Bent, but not evil.

Actually, I did handle myself rather well under the circumstances. The only time I nearly lost it was when the inspector handed me this this long thin thermometer and a packet of alcohol swabs for me to take the internal temperature of the hot dogs.

I honestly don't know why we had to put tarps under the tables, d'E. It was supposed to simulate a hard floor. I guess in case some insects or germs jumped up off the ground into the food.

I forgot to tell you about the fans. She wanted us to set up some fans to blow flies away from the tables. Fortunately there weren't any flies present, so we didn't have to do it.

I really should write the incident up for the AWW. I'm still just astonished over the whole thing.

I would... If nothing else, it might prevent this sort of thing from happening in the future. Especially when you consider that the hot dogs were edible by health regulations without being cooked!

There has to be some way to sic Mrs. Busybody on the smellfungus, or vice versa. If they were making each other's lives a living hell then everybody else would be left alone.

Well, I now have my swerver set up... Not sure what I am going to do with it yet, but it is set up. I know that at least, I am going to move my webpage over to it rather than on my doze box.



And in other news, my ex just popped online. It caused an immediate flutter in my heart.

Might need to have your cardiologist look at that...

She just about gave both Marv and I a heart attack as she has not been seen in 3 or 4 months. It is ironic that she popped up on her birthday.

I haven't giggled so much over backlog in AGES.

So we are going to set up one of those cartoon boxing matches between the smellfungus and the food nazi, whilst turning the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in to the EPA. And there will be a douche amnesty; take your mothers' appliances to the nearest county courthouse.

Tonight I saw the commercial that was the original motivation for my starting the discussion about Bad Ads, but I had forgotten it, because nature is kind that way, until I just saw it again.


Three like totally Cosmopolitan girls are sitting around a lunch table in some franchise restaurant like Bennigans or Ruby Tuesdays, all resplendent in edgy hairdos and chandelier earrings.
Girl1: *confessionally* "Last night I twisted ten times!"
Girl2: "I twisted ten times in front of my boss!"

Cut to voiceover with picture of product, some new way of removing nail polish by sticking your fingers in a little plastic bottle.

Girl3: *rolling eyes suggestively* "I'm twisting right now!" *shows bare nails*

*The two other girls chortle heartily*


AAAARGH! It's the laughing at the end that gets me. If they were really like that, you couldn't trust them to find the powder room by themselves.

I've started categorizing advertisements. #1) The scary kind. #2) The irritating kind. #3) The funny kind. #4) The kind that make me cry

#1) These advertisements are the ones that make you think you've got some sort of disease, and you should ask your doctor if you should be taking Plavix or Prevacid or some other tongue-twisting drug to fix yourself up. If it were up to the people that write these things, we'd be popping fifty pills a day.

#2) These, of course, feature the giggling girls that you just mentioned. Or Bob with his eternal 3-wood. Or the ones in really bad taste about the woman who has bladder control problems... or the silly gel inserts from Schols (gelling like Magellan? Who writes this crap?) The Mentos ads were really irritating... then there's the awful late-night adult entertainment ads. Don't get me started.

#3) These ads are almost always funny at the expense of whatever it is they're advertising - in other words, you knew the ad was funny, but you can't remember what the product was. (My particular favorite is the one of the guy and his girlfriend in his apartment - they're talking about his stuff and what to do with it, and she momentarily fantasizes about blowtorching his boxes of stuff in the alley while the Valkyrie song from the Ring Saga plays in the background.)

#4) I only get this way around a certain time of the month, but the silliest ads (Nike, phone companies, banks) make my eyes well up. In fact, #4 is also #2, because nothing pisses me off more than an artificial attempt to cause an emotional response.

There were those Miller (or was it Bud) ads showing two women (Miller -- tastes great, less filling) fighting in a pool getting practically naked. I hated those, but the one with the three women sitting around...the guy gets hit in the crotch with a golf ball, and hit by lightning, and then they cut to the women going "nah, too good for him for cheating on you" and then you see him come out of his house, and a piano bench falls, he ducks, and then gets hit with the piano itself. I found that amusing. Sick, sexist, but funny.

There used to be an ad for Coke that made me cry every time...but now I can't remember which one.